How kids feel when parents get a divorce?

Answer 1

Everything has changed for them.Their lives are disrupted.

Their lives have become unstable.They fear what will happen to them without both parents in the home to care for them. Some think the break up is their fault. There is no more "family" time with both parents present: trips, vacations, parties, school functions, sports, etc. There isn't enough money to go around. They don't see enough of the non-custodial parent. The custodial parent probably needs to work more, worry more about family finances and has less time to spend with the kids. Home life is more stressful as a result. In some cases they become the victims of bullying at school.

They worry when their parents can't get along with each other and any discussions end in a fight. Some bitter, immature, self-centered parents play the children against one another or try to alienate the child against the other parent. That can destroy family relationships forever. In many cases children are uncomfortable with sharing their parents with new partners that may come and go. Visitations can be a problem when there's a new spouse or partner who the children do not know well or even like.

Answer 2

It is traumatic for children to be caught up in the middle of their parent's divorce. Sometimes one parent or even both may use the children threateningly to gain leverage over the other, with no thought about the children's feelings. It is very important that even if the parents argue when they are together they do not do so in front of the children and that their children's happiness comes first. A parent should never put the other parent down to their children or use their children to spy on the other parent.

When parents argue and fight in front of their children, or talk badly about the other parent in front of the children, it can change the child's view of themself, often with them thinking they have to 'choose sides'. And that is a terrible burden to put on a child. The child can become confused, while at the same time feel resentful, which is understandable. And that confusion and resentfulness can result in the child feeling insecure and scared, which can lead to behavioral problems.

So the best thing for parents who are divorcing to do is to put as much care and planning into the divorce as they did in the planning of their wedding - but this time make it all about the children and what's best for them.

Answer 3

They feel ok about it most of the time