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You are going to have to be firm with her, straight forward and polite and simply tell her how her behaviour makes you feel as well make it clear to her you have a family and they come first - it is best that you keep your distance from her for awhile if not on going as she sounds as though she could cause trouble for you and your family if that's what it takes to get to you - you may even have to get a restraining order if you find she just won't go away. Be very careful as she seems unstable and obsessed and possibly in love.

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