I found texts on my girlfriend's cell phone from her ex saying stuff like I miss you baby Should i be worried?

Answer 1

You should probably be worried by the fact that you were snooping in her phone! Why would you do that?

She didn't ask to receive these texts. Perhaps she shouldhave deleted them, but we all like to be wanted and needed. It probably makes her feel good to think that she has this ability to attract him, even after they broke up.

Don't be worried about her until her actions or words give you reason to be worried. We are not responsible for the behaviour of others, and she is not responsible for his behaviour.

Get control of your insecurity.

REPLY :The reason I touched her phone was because she let me text a friend of mine but when I accidentally went into her inbox she started freaking out and I just went in. There were mushy mushy messages she sent to him as well. Ones where she is telling him that she would like to go over and kook for his whole family with the text ending in calling him "hun". I did not go snooping around she was there in front of me. And her excuse was she was going to show me the messages anyway but I found out before. Who believes that excuse?

-- further response --

This extra information changes the whole context of what you wrote before.

You need to ask her to explain each message she sent and ask her why she sent them.

Tell her in advance that you will only accept one answer to a question. If you ask for further details to anything she says, what she says next will need to be consistent with what she already said.

BUT- don't be accusatory, just ask calmly for a rational explanation of her messages. One consistent with her still being your girlfriend.

I wouldn't worry much about her use of the word "hun" - I worked with a woman 20 years my junior whoalwasy called me 'hun' - even in front of my wife and her husband.

I still have a concern for your insecurity....

Why, when she "started freaking out" did you continue reading? We are all entitled to our privacy and a few secrets - whatever they might be about.

Will she ever be able to trust you again?

Reply:

I don't know if she trusts me but when she was freaking out I said I wanna know whats in there you don't want me to see. And then she just stood there saying "Go on" so I did. Im insecure because I have been cheated on in the past by 2 ex girlfriends who took months to admit they were cheating on me. I trust or rather use to trust my girfriend very much until Ive started to realise these issues. For example she hangs up when shes talking to me when her ex calls. That is not very healthy and makes me feel like I'm not enough. I also have a hunch her ex does not have a clue about me and that I might be the one being used to be cheated on him.

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Break up with her... no need to be suffering like that... one of my exes, used to do that and guess what? he's an ex!! hahah cuz he left me.