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They are, and it is due to modern methods of parenting. Lets look at this.

Parents are told to control their children, and train them to sleep by "controlled crying". Actually, there is nothing controlled about it. The idea is that if you leave a baby to cry itself to sleep, it will soon learn not to cry and just go to sleep on its own. The parent gives the child a teddy or something to cuddle and that is called a "transitional object", and this is done "because the baby must learn".

Lets look a bit closer at this. The baby calls for the people who he can reasonably expect to love him, help him, comfort and protect him. He calls and calls in the only way he knows how, and nobody comes. And it isn't a once-off, it keeps on happening. He calls for help, and no one can be bothered with him. In despair, and unable to count on people to meet his needs, he falls asleep with teddy or some other transitional object. Teddy is a great comfort in the baby's world.

He has learned something all right. He has learned that he does not matter, that nobody cares if he is lonely, hungry, thirsty, wet, cold, hot or frightened. He learns that the people who know him best can't be counted on to help.

Then the child grows up and he can't put his trust in people. He has shallow and unsatisfying human relationships. He learned as a baby that a transitional object is what really provides comfort and as an adult he needs a more grown up version of a teddy bear. So material possessions provide happiness, security, status and comfort.

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15y ago

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