Should a 4 year old be told his mom is in jail and that is why he can't visit her for awhile?

Answer 1

If the your raising the child with a policy of honesty then you should find a way to tell him the truth. Reality is sometimes a hard thing to face and he will come to face it one way or another. It is possible to control for it, to a degree, by telling the child yourself. You should be prepared for the types of questions a 4 yr old is likely to ask such as "Why, is she bad, what does it mean?" Questions of that nature. I would caution against saying anything negative about the mother. Perhaps it would be a good time to learn that "good people sometimes make mistakes" lesson. In the end reassure the child that the mother wishes she could be with the child, but can't, and still loves the child. Even if this is not the case, it is comforting.