Should you cling on to hope or walk away?

Answer 1

Cling on or walk away...In a nutshell, I am currently on a break with my girlfriend, but I simply do not know what to think or do.

Okay, basically everything was going really well. Through the things that were said between us, I came to believe that she might be the one, (she told me as much). But, about three weeks ago she suddenly changed. At first she was quite honest with me, and told me that she was going to have counselling to deal with some personal issues she was having. She assured me that it had nothing to do with our relationship. It was just confidence/self-esteem issues that she needed to address.

Fine, I thought. Not a problem because I would support her in anything she wanted to do.

But then all of a sudden, I was asked to give her some time and space. Again, I had no problem with this at all, but I did start to worry that maybe there was something wrong with us. The last time I saw her, (two weeks ago), she was in a really bad mood and did not make any effort to talk to me. I tried to see if I could help, but she just wanted to be left on her own. Still, while I did not know what to think, I was going to give her all the time and space she needed.

Well, I would have done, but it proved difficult for me. You see, I am not a very confident person and I started to worry too much about it. What made it worse was I tried to call her, just to see how she was doing. I did not think there was any harm in that, but she was really angry with me on the phone and to put it bluntly, quite nasty. So that just made things worse for me. I found it hard to accept that despite her needing space to sort out her problems, could she not just have told me how she was? Amazingly, when I told her I was worried about her, she said I shouldn't be because she can look after herself.

Well, nothing much has changed. She still has not rang or called to say how she is doing. I don't even know if she even wants to know how I am. It's frustrating because, on the few occassions when I gave into my urges to text her, she would either ignore me and come back with something really cold. Okay, you can have your space, but does she have to be so mean about it?

So now, to my question. I am left wondering what I should do. On the one hand, do I cling to the thin thread of hope that she will call me soon and we can get on with out lives? I've since convinced myself that she does not want me anymore. She knows that this situation is really difficult for me, but she does not seem to want to say just a few words to put my mind at ease. I think that, if she wanted our relationship to continue, could she not give me something to go on? I don't mind waiting for her and giving her space, but not knowing what is going on is really hurting me. I even asked if she was dropping a hint by ignoring me but, surprise, she did not answer. She won't tell me it's going to be okay. But she also won't tell me it is over.

On the other hand, maybe I need to realise that this relationship is going to finish. Is it obvious and I'm just living in denial? If it is, then maybe I should just walk away. It's really upsetting to think about doing that, but I cannot seem to think about anything else right now other than how bad I feel.

So, if anyone can offer any advice, I would really appreciate it. To conclude, do I continue to feel bad each day that passes, but hope she might call me, or should I just accept that this one is over and walk away. After all the promises that were made and the things that were said, that is going to be hard to do, because it will break my heart, but maybe that's what I need to do. I would not mind as much if I had done something wrong, but I feel that I always did right by her. It's strange that when you love someone and treat them the best you can, you are rewarded by being thrown into the dark with no answers.

Okay, thanks for listening. A.

IN A SIMILAR SITUATION

Hey I'm in a similar situation myself. My GF of 3.5 years decided to that she didn't want to go with me anymore on a whim. However there hasn't been any talk of having space and such. As for your question I would ask that do you really want to handle all of the baggage? It sounds like she has a lot of problems that she has to get through before she is ready for any relationship. Right now I would let her be. You can hope for her to come back to you but I wouldn't expect it from what you are saying. Overall I don't think you have hounded her if you have tried to text her once or twice (I know guys want to hit things head on but girls are annoyed really easily) but apparently she is seeing this as you harassing her.

Again you can hope but don't expect it until she shows she is commited.

Exact Same As My Situation - I have no idea how to handle it.

I'm in the exact same situation, except the roles are reversed. my boyfriend of two years (on and off) were doing really well, like we'd both broken through a bunch of walls that caused us a lot of problems in the past, but then he went through a ton of family/life problems and he just kind of holed up on me. said he needed time and space and i was really supportive of it for the most part, i love him to much to see him suffer, so i figured if he thinks he can work things out better on is own then i'd let him be. its been almost the whole summer and we still barely talk. I'm losing my bearings and while at first i was certain it didnt have anything to do with our relationship, I'm not so sure anymore.i just don't know whether to keep giving him his space, or try and talk to him and just ask straight up if he still loves me, cause i don't know anymore. :/