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This is the story: My girlfriends and I have been together for about 5 years now. She is 20 and I am 20. We have been together since sophomore year of high school. We have talked about taking a break for about 6 months now. First she told me that she just needed some space. We love each other very much and we talked about moving in together and in the last years of college we would get married. We were very serious about that. But now she told me well I want my space but I also kinda like this guys from work (she said the kept trying to change her feelings but she couldn't and that liking this kid put her over the top to making her decision). She keeps telling me that there is nothing going on and nothing happened with him. They just recently started talking on the phone and car pooling to work because the live close by. She tells me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now and that her feelings about us are just not the same. She says that she still loves me and misses me. She says that she will always love me. Her family loves me and tells me that they are all mad at her for what she has done and that she will never find another person like me. My girlfriend tells me that just for right now us is not what she wants and that maybe in the future we will get back together but for right now no. I know we really never had a dating life since we have been together since high school and we are talking about getting married in the near future. What should I think? Will she come back? What should I do? Does she still love me Or does she like this new guy more than me? Please Help!

AnswerIt sounds like neither of you have had much experience with other people and it's been all about the two of you. Youth is but a blink of light and goes by so quickly, so she may feel the need to broaden her horizons. She may well not love this other young man, but perhaps wants to date him. She's confused and wants to experience life a little while you seem to be more committed to her, but honestly, I think you should do the same thing. Get out, start dating other young women and then see if you both get back together.

Your girlfriend has been honest and she's respecting herself and values, yet feels terrible she is hurting you at the same time. If we need to make changes in our lives and experience life (for the good) we can't always listen to others that may be angry with us because we don't fit into their criteria of staying with someone they feel she should be in love with.

Respect her for being honest (she could have cheated, but didn't.) I think she still does love you, but you know each other so well and she may want the mystery of "the chase" and some excitement in her life before she settles down into marriage. This could fade as it's not all it's cracked up to be. The grass is NOT always greener on the other side, but if you want to be sure about your love together then you must set her free. I know it's hard on you and it will take some getting use too not having her around and wondering what she is doing. However, it goes both ways and if you start dating other girls and going out and having fun with friends she may just realize that grass on the other side of the fence wasn't so green after all.

It's a risk, and I can't tell you for sure if she will come back to you. She well may, yet may not. If you fight this issue with her then it may be a turn-off for her. Be strong, tell her you understand and agree and that you feel you should be dating other girls. That will give her something to think about.

Sorry, I truly wish I could have told you something that would lighten the load on your heart, but I simply am telling you the truth.

Good luck

AnswerThank you very much for your response. Yes, that is what everyone is telling me. Her family loves me and her cousin said that she went throught the same thing. I know that I have to go out and expierence other things but its really hard to know that she is out there with someone eles. I have questions that no one has the answers too and it hurts me. I really love this person and I wish that we could be together forever and that she will come back to me. But that's what I want to know is if she will come back and when. And i Just really hope that she relizes that she misses me and that grass is not greener on the other side. I just think that it seems like that for her right now that it is the right thing to do. and it is just really hard to talk to her as just my friend and not knowing what she is doing but i still want to be there for her and I will really miss her for this time being. We will see what happens. I just know that I cannot go one day without talking to her or hanging out with her. If there is any other adive about how I should act when I am around her and how i should act when I am on the phone with her. Please write back on here marcy or anyone else. Thank you again.
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Q: What does it mean when a girlfirend of 5 years says that she needs her space but she also likes a guy from work and has been hanging around him a lot latley?
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