What effects does narcissism have on marriage?

Answer 1

It ruins it, or it makes it unpleasant. Extra unpleasant for the children

It makes normal life impossible as there is never any stability or trust , it is basically a one way street with the narcissist taking control and showing absolutely no regard for the other person in the relationship. As time goes on the partner ends up a broken shell of their former self.

Answer 2

I was involved with a married Narcissist for one year. From the get go, all he talked about was how mean and hateful his wife was; she never wanted to spend anytime with him, only put him down and criticized him, and she didn't pay any attention to him whatsoever.

I fell hook line and sinker for his nonsense.

Not only was his wife pregnant (she did that on purpose, he would say, so she could keep me there, but I am just waiting for the baby to be born and then I am moving out).

For an entire year he was "getting a divorce" and he did move out in February (7 months after our affair started).

He would constantly tell me how much he loved me, that was going to marry me and have an honest life with me. That people were going to be jealous of how affectionate and happy of a couple we were.

He was always texting, chatting, calling or emailing. It was obsessive. And I was "the girl of his dreams" his "soul mate."

Then, almost a year later, after I moved to a different location after losing my job and friends because of his constant, obsessive nonsense, we spent the weekend out of town. His wife started texting him "I can't believe you are with her...ect."

I was like "She doesn't know anything about us, does she? She thinks we aren't together."

He lied of course. "Yes, she knows, I don't know why she is giving us so much trouble. I just want to get he papers filed and be happy."

2 days later, at 8:00 a.m. he told me he loved me and everything would be okay. By 11:00 a.m. he suspended my cell phone (the secret one he bought me) changed all his passwords and would not return a text or take a call from me.

I have never been involved with a married man before, but made an exception because he was "so miserable and mistreated and getting divorced." NEVER AGAIN.

Also, because of his Narcissism Disorder, he is very cyclic in the Value-Devalue system. Just as soon as I moved and he had me isolated, he was gone because he knew he had me and the challenge was gone. All of the sudden I was an awful person and I seduced him. (I sent a voicemail from him to his wife of him saying that he was going to call about a house for us to buy and move in to. He could not deny that. She finally decided to start believing me that he was one the chased after me all these months.)

Now his wife is so mad at him, he is now obsessing with her for the challenge of getting her back. As soon as she takes him back, he will move on to someone else.

Furthermore, Narcissists are pathological liars, all to make themselves look good. Mine told me all kinds of humdingers, here are some examples:

1. He owned his house and his wife sold it out from under him. (I talked to her and she said they RENTED).

2. That he resigned from all his coaching duties b/c of the way he is taken advantage of (He is under investigation by the school board for buying alcohol for minors and had to resign).

3. A nearby school asked him to be a Varsity coach for Basketball (he currently coaches J.V. but then busted himself out when he said a grade school position was open and I said, well, didn't they want you to coach varsity?...oh yeah....well, they know where to find me. Yeah, right).

4. There were times that his wife wanted to have sex with him but because he loved me so much, he said no. (She confirmed this was not true that he was carrying on with her the whole time as well.)

5. That he gave $200 to my friend who's son was almost killed in a car accident. (The head coach told my friend that the WHOLE team raised the money).

All of these lies were to make himself look high and mighty. Which, I would have not cared if he owned or rented, that just shows the kind of person the Narc's are - they seriously have no ability to tell the truth even when the truth sounds better.