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If it is a one time thing, he may have just had a moment. Sometimes, we all do things that we don't mean in the heat of an argument. It could be nothing. Just do your best to calm and end the argument. Tell him later after things have quieted that you did not appreciate it when he put his hands on you out of anger, and that it should not happen again. This is something that you need to be firm about. If he apologizes, don't tell him that it is okay. Instead, just say thank you.

Even after just once though, it can be a red flag.

If grabbing you is paired up with other behaviors, like...

  • needing to know where you are all the time
  • calling non-stop
  • not wanting you to talk to friends or family
  • wanting to control what you eat or wear or spend money on
  • is overly jealous
  • is verbally abusive
  • guilt trips you
  • acts like he is a victim or is overly sensitive
  • breaks or hits things
  • humiliates you

...then you might have a domestic violence situation building up.

If you think this might be the case (or if it happens again), you need to step back and reevaluate your relationship. You need to decide if you think he will get help and what this relationship is worth to you. The longer you are with an abuser, the harder it is to get out of the situation.

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9y ago

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