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In Christianity, we see that marriage is different from other human relationships. There is something sacred about it; That it is possible for a couple to love each other in this way is a gift from God. In their acceptance of this gift, a couple not only experience a communion with each other, they experience a sustaining love which is bigger than their own individual efforts. They are drawn into a communion with God who assists and empowers them in their efforts to strengthen and deepen their married life.

Sacramentally and (canonically), the following is ascertained:

(1) the spouses are free to marry

(2) they freely exchange their consent

(3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children

(4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister.

Standing before God they proffer their vows; in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for the rest of our lives, until death do us part. Amen

They have dreams of their future and plans for how they will live out their lives, growing old together. But they receive no guarantee of what may be around the corner, or exactly what 'for better or worse' may mean as the weeks and months melt into years and decades. Yet they celebrate their 'yes' with joyful hearts.

It's the conviction that the one thing that makes our lives real and worth living is that pure committed love never counts the cost. Real love says 'we'll take the risk and pay the price, whatever it may be, because we want a real life and not just a performance or show.'

Marriages for Christians haven't always taken place in churches. The couple used to make their marriage vows in the church porch, with family and friends gathered around to witness. The priest was there to register their commitment and then lead the party into church to pray with them.

In the eighteenth century the whole ceremony moved into the church and some clergy worried that it would look as though the priest was marrying the couple, where, in fact, the couple themselves are the ministers of their marriage.

They give themselves to each other lovingly and for life. The role of the priest is to witness, register, pray with and bless them. And it's a great privilege and honour to be part of their life history.

In St Paul 's letter to the Christian community at Ephesus, he urges husbands and wives (in terms appropriate to his day), to mutually surrender to one another in love. He then continues:

Because of this a man shall leave his father and mother to be united with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a very great mystery, and I refer to Christ and the Church. (Ephesians 5.31-32)

So, when a couple marries, they are not simply saying 'yes' to each other. They are saying 'yes' to the Christian community:

'Yes, we commit ourselves to being a sign of Christ's love to you'.

'Yes, we will strive to love one another so totally and unconditionally that you will see in us the love Jesus has for you.'

'Yes, we will love each other forever, because that is the way Christ has promised to love his Church and, by the witness of our lives, we will make his extraordinary promise believable.'

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12y ago

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