What to do after a divorce?

Answer 1

People grieve the loss of a relationship in much the way as they mourn the death of a loved one, but there is the added feeling of betrayal and anger and above all, hurt. Let yourself in on your emotions; don't try to deny them. Take some time to heal; even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, you will be in emotional pain for awhile, and if it was your ex-spouse who initiated it, you must feel devastated and even doubt whether you are worthy of being loved. Well, being divorced does NOT mean you are not worthy of being loved, nor does it mean you cannot eventually fall in love again with someone new.

But don't go throwing yourself into a rebound relationship; I know the hard way how disastrous those can turn out to be!

Instead, let yourself mourn. You'll pass through stages of loss, and you'll feel very angry for awhile. Use that anger to energize yourself: follow new interests, explore your community, live your life.

Gradually you will be able to rebuild your life as a single person. If there are children, be sure your visitation or custody rights are being seen to properly.

When you feel that you are strong enough to live a happy life on your own, ironically, is the point at which you are truly free to fall in love again. Good luck.

Answer 2

CYA! Contact a lawyer and file for legal separation right away. Then - FOLLOW THE MONEY. Leave no paper unturned. You need to know exactly what the marital finances, investments, debts and other obligations are, that will be considererd your responsibility as well as his. Get a written decision on who pays for what during this separation. And make sure your name stays on insurance policies and as beneficiary on life insurance policy. This isn't a divorce - but you have to make sure he doesn't go out and liquidate assets that should be in part - yours. Or incur more debt that you would be obligated to pay. First thing to protect yourself from more debt is to close your joint checking accounts and credit cards with your name on them - even if you are just the "authorized user". (He can get new ones.) Open new accounts in your name only. And don't get all kind and understanding and think any of this is going to be "fair". No matter what he says - you can't count on it unless you get in legal and in writing. Don't offer to pay anything or pay off anything until you have consulted with your lawyer. All of this comes from experience and the stupid mistakes I made in not protecting myself.

Answer 3

Take some time to heal; even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, you will be in emotional pain for awhile, and if it was your ex-spouse who initiated it, you must feel devastated and even doubt whether you are worthy of being loved. Well, being divorced does NOT mean you are not worthy of being loved, nor does it mean you cannot eventually fall in love again with someone new. But don't go throwing yourself into a rebound relationship; I know the hard way how disastrous those can turn out to be! Instead, let yourself mourn. You'll pass through stages of loss, and you'll feel very angry for awhile. Use that anger to energize yourself: follow new interests, explore your community, live your life. Gradually you will be able to rebuild your life as a single person. If there are children, be sure your visitation or custody rights are being seen to properly. When you feel that you are strong enough to live a happy life on your own, ironically, is the point at which you are truly free to fall in love again. Good luck.

Answer 4

Buy a microwave. You'll need it. And it ticks the other person off because they're stuck with the old one!