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Just think ... who in your whole life should you love and trust? Well, of course it's your parents. So, if the parents abuse you then for years you have learned what is around you in your environment ... no trust, no love and you're all on your own. You have "learned" that this is the normal type of family and so, you choose men who dominate and control you as well. It's really not your fault at all, but now you know, and now it's time to see a good psychiatrist or psychologist to help you filter through the garbage you have picked up through the years. Seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist doesn't make you a weak person or a crazy person. For the past 10 years or more before my mother's death she decided I was the worst person on the face of the earth (of course I wasn't) and she was nasty and cruel. I decided I had to walk away from my own mother and it got so bad she had police coming to my door because she thought I was stalking her, breaking into her car or her townhouse. The police had run a check on my brother and I both and of course we were clean, and they told us when a complaint was filed they had to act on it, but knew we were OK and that they had experienced this type of thing from many of the elderly. It was so bad I had to get a "Cease & Desist" order against my mother and that just about did me in. To make a long story short, we found out my mother had been suffering from Dementia. The poor old girl. I am most thankful to God, that my mother was put on a good medication where we did have a good relationship before she died just short of a year later. During that time when I was having difficulties with my mother (and although I had always been good to her) I went to a psychologist just to be sure I was doing all the right things and that I was handling it in a healthy manner. I call these visits to a psychologist periodically a "tune up." This is considered abuse from parents: Not feeding a child properly Leaving a child home alone at a very early age Dumping a child on just ANYONE so they can go out somewhere Not keeping children clean or dressing them in old raggy clothing No proper medical attention when the child is sick Beatings with straps, or any object; kicking, punching or dragging Swearing constantly at the child or calling them names and making sure they know they are useless and will never amount to anything. This is mental abuse. Plotting one sibling against another Sexual abuse (the mother knows about it and does nothing.) Locking children in closets, bathrooms, etc. Purposely scaring the wits out a child (throwing them down into the basement for long periods of time) or telling them they are going to die or that the parents are going to give them away to a stranger. Leasing your child out for sexual purposes Once a person has been abused their "survival instinct" cuts in so they become (for good reason) suspicious of everyone. By doing so, they often make mistakes in choosing a husband/wife because the abused doesn't trust anyone that is too nice to them. You or anyone you know in this situation has done nothing wrong, and the very fact your have acknowledged this means you are starting to heal. Now you just need a little help to grow stronger. God bless Marcy

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20y ago

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