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It's never just one answer for an individual and there are different reasons for different people. Generally though, I think that fear of something is the only reason to stay in an abusive relationship or even just to keep it secret. Hiding the abuse helps to hide the fact that action needs to be taken to protect oneself against the abuser. If no one knows about it, you don't need to fix it. Maybe it's an attemtp to hide the relationship's problems from one's self. Maybe it's a fear of the unknown, a fear of ending the relationship, fear of starting over, fear of further abuse if the plan to leave the relationship fall apart, fear of opening oneself to a new relationship, fear of real intimacy...The woman may be threatened that something bad will happen to her or the kids if she tells anyone. I guess the list goes on an on. There may be a few reasons not having to do with fear at all too though, like needing to stay in order to have time to show the abuser that they are doing something wrong, or to prove that the woman/victim is strong enough to withstand the abuse. Maybe the woman also wants the outside world to view her life in a certain way, so she can't admit to anything less than perfect. There are so many reasons and they are as individual as the person and the circumstances (past and present).

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20y ago

What else can I help you with?