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Women are different. Men are always "ready", while women need everything to be "just right". Of course, when everything is new, romantic and exciting, some women are far more interested. But later, after the excitement wears off, they need the romance for intimacy to be enjoyable. After a relationship has developed, children, work and other responsibilities make it difficult for women to "let go" enough to enjoy intimacy. Sometimes a mini-vacation or romantic evening can help bring the excitement back for a woman. But don't be a klutz and tell her that you're doing the whole romantic thing so that you can get lucky. Just be nice, go to a movie and dinner, maybe a drive. Spend time together and try to avoid the stuff that annoys her. Maybe some flowers or a little gift. Then you have to be ready to NOT have things go the way you are planning. If she still can't get in the mood, you may need to do the same thing a few days later. Treat her special and she will eventually respond. But if you tell her that you're treating her special because you have expectations, you'll just make her angry. Some couples have a regular "date night". That's when the husband and wife go out together, just them, no children, no talking about work or bills or any negative stuff. There should be separate time for that. Also, never argue in bed. If you need to argue about something, go to a different room. There are plenty of ideas for increasing the intimacy of your relationship. If you can't get things working on your own, sometimes a marriage counselor can help. Don't take it personal, occasionally we all need to step back and take a look at our relationship. If we can't see our problems, often a marriage counselor can help us through the problems that are preventing us from enjoying the relationship. Redbeard gave excellent advice, but, I would like to add that hormones can be the big culprit at times as well as medications that have the side effects of lowering the libido (antidepressants are big for this.) Diseases such as Diabetes or heart problems can also lower the libido. Some women while still getting their period can have PMS and trying to have sex at this time is a guy taking their life into their own hands. LOL Also from 35 plus women can go into peri-menopause and later (approx. 50) can go into full menopause (ceasing of periods) and become cranky, depressed, have headaches, aching, bloating, depression and hot flashes just to mention a few symptoms. I agree with what Redbeard says as far as spending some quality time with your girlfriend or wife. Often men can take their girlfriends/wives for granted and sometimes the women can do the same things with the men. Women certainly do like romance and quality time with their partner and it's not all about sex, but having romantic dinners, just going for walks together, discussing your future dreams for the future and have a lot of good belly laughs along the way.

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