Why do people abuse children's?

Answer 1

This requires a complex answer that many people belive they have the answer to, but few, if any, fully understand sufficently to answer.

People may act abusively to their children for many reasons. It has been commonly stated that those who where abused are more likely to abuse. This is a simple, knee jerk response. It is no more common for the previously abused to continue the cycle than for those who were never abused to start it. The line divides directly in the middle. What is true is that those who were abused are slightly more likely to abuse more severly. Even this is not an accurate assessment of the situation or consequences though.

Children respond differently to abuse. Where one child may be emotionally traumatised and scared for life by a single instance of relatively minor abuse, another child may show few effects from a lifetime of brutal treatment (the later is not likely, but is no less possible). A child who is regularly abused may decide as a result to never raise a hand or a voice to their children, and be quite successful.

Those who abuse are often seeking control in their own lives. They may perceive that their lives are spinning into chaos. It is typically an anger response, and anger is often a response to fear, an extension of the fight or flight response, or a miswiring of it.

The strongest instinct of life on planet Earth is survival. Nearly every other instinct is connected to it somehow. The desire or need to procreate. Hunger, thirst. The compulsion to run away. The motivation to stand and fight. Some people never develop the instinct to run, or it is subsumed or conditioned away. In these cases, only the instinct to stand and fight remains. Against a stronger opponent, the result is often injury to that one. Against an equal opponent, the success could smile on either party. Against a weaker opponent, say such as a child, the weaker one obviously loses.

It is my observation that many people with anger issues fit into this last description. Faced with any opponent, the anger-junkie will stand his ground. Every threat, regardless of how minor may be perceived as life threatening, an attack, and he will meet the threat with white hot rage.

Anything may be perceived as a threat also. An error made by another driver. An interruption in a conversation. A dropped bowl of cereal or spilled glass of milk. An argument between siblings. An action without prior permission. A pulled shirt. A question.

See where this goes? And this is only one possible root of abuse, a problem that can spring from countless roots.

Answer 2

It is all about the abuser. Abusers are usually very self-focused. That is, they don't think anyone is as important as they are, and they become convinced that meeting their needs is more important than anything else.

The "need" may be finding someone else to blame for the abuser's own failures and inadequacies, someone who can be punished so the abuser won't punish her/himself.

The "need" may be sexual gratification, even though the abuser is not able to build a successful relationship with another adult. This is because other adults will expect to get as much as they give: they want a partnership. Children are less aware that they have the right to reciprocity, and may not even know what to ask for or how to ask for it.

The abuser targets a victim who cannot fight back effectively, because of inexperience, lack of strength (physical, emotional or both), powerlessness (children cannot act with the same legal independence as the adult abuser), or low self-esteem.

Tragically, the low self-esteem may be intensified by the abuse. "I deserve this. "I'm a bad person. This is my fault." Thoughts like these can lead the victim to find someone to blame, passing on the abusive behavior.

It's all about the abuser. It is never, never, NEVER the victim's fault!

Answer 3

Because they're sick! They were often abused too, and they tend to be hurting.

Answer 4

Some people are just seriously messed up. Its not an excuse, its a reality. Its all about power, control.