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Of course, many women want a man to control things and then they complain that he is too controlling. Find a new man. There are many to choose from. The problem is that most young women cannot easily (nor quickly) recognize controlling behaviors as such. Instead they are flattered that "he cares enough about me" to want to know where she is and when she is coming back and who she will be with. Mistakenly, she believes he is concerned about her safety. When he says he doesn't want her going to to clubs or parties with her friends because he doesn't trust other guys, she mistakes that for concern for her instead of an expression of the out-of-control jealousy and insecurity that it is.

Controlling people are ridiculously insecure. Their insecurity is usually expressed first as jealousy, then controlling (allegedly to prevent more jealousy), then the physical violence begins. Violence statistics in the U.S. indicate that more than 120 million American women are attacked by intimates each year, and 75% of those attacks took place at the hands of intimates described as boyfriends, fathers, husbands, friends, or relatives.

In most instances, the desire to control the woman has to do with controlling her sexuality and dictating who has access to her body or charms. I know of several women with boyfriends so jealous about coworkers they demanded the woman quit her job. With children to feed as a single parent, neither of the women could afford to do such a thing. They were summarily beaten and their partners arrested and jailed for the crimes. But I repeat, the desire to control is primarily associated with men's feeling of possession with regards to a woman's body and sexuality.

The controlling partner has little to no self-esteem and lacks self-worth as well. The partner (woman) becomes the obsessive object of their self-worth. The controlling man believes that having this woman gives his life meaning, and that without this woman he has no value and often no reason for living.

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16y ago

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