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It's part of the growth process for teenagers. In all animal species where parents raise their young, there is a point where the young have to leave their parents. If the youngster is too tightly bonded with his parents, he will never leave and will become a burden. This reduces the success of a species. Thus mechanisms exist to make it easier to wean the child away from dependence on his parents.

Hormonal changes affect the brains of teens. Even a loving teen will find that the sight, sound, and even smell of a parent becomes extremely irritating.

Teens also have to learn negotiation in the real world. They start to learn it from people they trust, where this is exhibited by argumentative behavior.

Teens also need to learn about themselves, to develop their own personalities. In this process, they adopt different identities.

Additionally, teens have to learn to work with and bond with peers. This leaves less time and energy for bonding with parents.

All of this can be viewed by parents as rebellion and misinterpreted as the teen rejecting them. In truth, there's no point in the teen trying the identity of his parents, he has grown up with that. He has to explore identities that are different from that.

All in all, the kind of behaviors teens exhibit which make parents think they hate them are normal and largely biologically based rather than conscious. Teens that fail to exhibit any of this may be less successful in becoming independent, secure adults.

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15y ago

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