Why is English so weird?

What do you do when you are dating someone that is recently divorced does not know if he wants to remarry? Why do people ask such absurd questions? Why is it that all hot guys hang out together? How do characters treat members of the same sex and of the opposite sex? Do you legally report a friend who is going to kill themselves? What do you get your boyfriend of 2 months for Christmas? What do you do if your crush is in a relationship but she has been cheating on her boyfriend with you holding hands and flirting and for some reason she stops I am in middle school and she started it? Do guys who go into bars and clubs who are interested in meeting women only do so to hook-up with them at that moment or to pursue a long-term relationship also? Why should you be nice to everyone? Who ruins most relationships? How do you stand up for your boyfriend when he is dorky? When did colin blunstone marry? What is a domestic partnership registry? Is akiko a boy or girl? Can you get warts from shaving? What should you do if you are still in love with your ex-boyfriend and you got together last week but now he is ignoring you? Why do people pick their butts? Will your boyfriend start hitting you if he hits walls? Is a farmer's tan attractive on a girl? What do you call it when two people end a MARRIAGE?