Why would a middle-aged man be only interested in dating women who are a lot older or younger than him and who do not take care of themselves?

Answer 1

A middle aged man may only be interested in older women because he feels more secure with them. However if they do not take care of themselves, either he has a fetish (which is unlikely) or he wants to take advantage of them. These are behaviors of a codependent person. People say codependency often when they mean dependency. A codependent person seeks out people to include in their lives who are always falling apart. The codependent steps in like a savior, and the person falling apart feels a need for them and the codependent feels needed. Since the person always falling apart is, well, always falling apart, they are a renewable source of validation for the codependent. Sounds like this guy is that kind of person and the age range doesn't seem to be of as much significance with that in mind.