How To Choose the Right Marriage Counselor?

Answer 1

When your marriage is in trouble, you just want the pain to stop. If you finally decide to see a marriage counselor, you may breathe a sigh of relief, feeling like everything’s going to be all right. Unfortunately, if you choose the wrong counselor, you might only make your problems worse. A few simple precautions can ensure you find a good match for you and your spouse.

Step 1: Find out if your health insurance covers marriage counseling. If it does, look first at the counselors who will be covered. Creating financial difficulties will only add to your stress. However, this is a starting point, not the final say. You don’t want a bad counselor just because she’s cheap.

Step 2: Discuss with your spouse whether either one of you feels uncomfortable with a counselor of a particular sex. This is especially important if some of your marriage issues are caused by past abuse or by extra-marital affairs.

Step 3: Ask your friends for recommendations. This may be hard, since it means admitting to friends that you have a problem, but no one knows a counselor like someone who’s already seen her. However, just because your friend loved a counselor doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the best match for you.

Step 4: When you have a list of a few names, call one to make an appointment for an initial consultation. If you find she’s not taking new clients, move on to the next on your list.

Step 5: At your first appointment, pay attention to the feelings you get, both from the counselor and from the office. If you’ve never had counseling before, you may be tempted to assume whatever you experience is just the way counseling works. If this counselor is a good fit, you should feel welcomed and comfortable talking to her.

Step 6: After your appointment, discuss what you thought with your spouse. It’s important that both of you feel good about your counselor in order for any real change to happen--counseling shouldn’t become one more battleground.

Step 7: If you were both comfortable, make a second appointment. If either of you thought she was a bad fit, move on to the next name on your list, and repeat steps four through six until you find one who’s a good match.