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Communication is the most important factor that can make or break a relationship. This is never more true when it comes to family ties. Here are some tips on how to improve communication skills in the family.
There are several types of communication styles that work in different situations. Exploring these different categories of self expression will help reduce interpersonal conflict and ultimately lead to healthier, happier family relationships.
There are several styles of communication known as aggressive, passive, and assertive. Aggressive behavior can result when there is unresolved issues because someone is feeling hurt or betrayed by a family member. The offended party may vent their feelings in unhealthy ways such as cussing, yelling, and threatening. On the other extreme, the passive person is an emotional doormat who would rather let everyone walk over his or her feelings to avoid confrontation. When dealing with family members, these communication methods can only lead to more conflict.
In family therapy sessions, family counselors always emphasize the importance of expressing oneself in an open, assertive manner. Assertive training involves teaching the individual to communicate his or her feelings in an honest way without placing blame or accusing. For example, a teenager who has been grounded for bad grades might state to their parents, "It makes me feel like a child when I am grounded for not living up to your standards". Parents who always find themselves in a shouting match with their rebellious teenager can start the discussion with, "It upsets us when we see you acting like this". Assertiveness opens the lines of communication without putting others on the defensive.
Just as important as verbal communication is nonverbal communication. People often communicate more without saying anything than with spoken language. Crossed arms communicate anger, while standing with an upright posture with legs slightly apart displays confidence. Use a non-threatening stance with open arms and palms when talking to defensive or angry teenagers.
Finally, each family member should listen more than they talk. Set a time that the entire family can talk to each other and give each participating member an equal chance to express their feelings without fear of being judged or accused.
As with anything, learning effective communication skills requires practice and discipline. By becoming assertive, being conscious of nonverbal body language, and learning to listen, you will be on your way to developing better relationships with your family.
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