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The secret message from Foaly at the bottom of "The Opal Deception" reads as the following when translated:

"A recruitment recruitment letter from the centaur Foaly, technical consultant to the Lower Elements Police-Trusted ally, if you have decoded this Gnomish message, then you are a deputy officer in the Lower Elements Police. You will not be aware of this fact because it is the practice of the LEP to mindwipe our human allies. We do this so they cannot remember being recruited. If you cannot remember the Fairy People, or our underground city, then you cannot betray our existence to the greedy humans. Of course, not all humans are greedy. You, deputy, are a noble member of your species. And clever too. Our intelligence department studied your file and concluded they you were suitable for LEP membership. At the moment, you are only a deputy officer. To become a fully fledged officer, you must complete four tasks.

  1. Decode this message. Something you are well on your way to completing.
  2. Save the life of a member of another species. You can complete this task in any number of ways: open a window to release a trapped fly, build a bird bath in your garden, release a mouse from a trap...
  3. Achieve a perfect score on a school test, or homework assignments. In this job, you need to be smart, as well as fit.
  4. Wash yourself every day for a week. This is a difficult assignment, especially for you boys who do not like contact with water. If you are going to work underground often in cramped tunnels, you will appreciate a partner who does not smell like a hermit dwarf.
Once you have completed these tasks, you must summon your recruiting officer in the ancient fashion:
  • Go to your back yard or nearest green area.
  • Make sure you are not being watched.
  • Find a soft spot of ground and burrow a six inch hole with a broom handle or short stick. When your hole is ready, tap out the letters "L" "E" "P" in horse code:
"L" tap, tap, wiggle, tap, "E", wiggle, wiggle, tap "P" tap wiggle drill.
  • Do this at least a hundred times, and our underground sensors will pick up the vibration and send up an L. E. P. officer with your uniform and orders.
Good luck, deputy!Foaly"
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