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Dr Z: Meredtih, where are my keys? I'm late; Bino's probably deep within the pits of hell already.

Meredith: What, you mean the elephant?

Dr Z: Yes, Meredith, I've sent an elephant to hell. Science stuff, you wouldn't understand.

Meredith: I don't understand, what do you mean "hell"?

Dr Z: My life with you, Meredith, that's the real hell.

Meredith: Whaaat?

Dr Z: I'm just gonna take the bus, do you have any change?

Meredith: There's some on the coffee table.

Dr Z: Thankyou Meredith... for your minimum contribution to my day.

*

Dr Z: Hello? Does anyone even still work here?

Sausage Cat: Hello Dr Z.

Dr Z: Oh good, Sausage Cat... my least favourite creation.

Sausage Cat: And that's why you have friends.

Dr Z: Has Bino checked in yet?

Sausage Cat: Are you interested in what I've been doing today?

Dr Z: Not in the least.

Sausage Cat: Pooping! I've been pooping! A lot!

Dr Z: That's... nice?

Sausage Cat: I'm hoping it helps my locate my other end. I've never seen it, you know. My butt. I've never seen my butt. I want to lick it.

Dr Z: I'm gonna go check on Bino.

Sausage Cat: I've been eating a lot of hummus. It has not sat well with me. Let me know if you smell anything.

*

Dr Z: Bino! Status report!

Bino: I've reached some sort of hatch - it's red, has a giant sad face on it?

Dr Z: Excellent! I think you've found the chamber of misery.

Bino: Oh good, how do I get in?

Dr Z: You must be extraodrinarily miserable. Are there any demons or hellmonsters around that you could get to sexually molest you?

Bino: Thankfully not. Only thing here is this weird flower staring at me.

Flower: Hello!

Dr Z: A flower, hmm. Ask it to sexually molest you.

Bino: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. Hey there little guy.

Flower: Pee on me!

Bino: Uh...

Dr Z: What was that?

Bino: Nothing. What the hell is wrong with you?

Flower: Pee on me!

Bino: No!

Dr Z: Bino, this might be our in on getting you molested! Do it!

Bino: Not gonna happen, Doc.

Flower: It's so warm and dry down here, and I'm sooo thirsty. Pee all over me!

Dr Z: I like where this is headed, Bino!

Bino: And I, I do not.

Flower: Aim for my mouth, I wanna gargle.

Dr Z: Do it, Bino. We need to get into that chamber.

Bino: Ugh, fine, I'll, I'll do it.

Dr Z: Perfect! This is how history is made my friend! This could be your defining moment; the one thing you will always be remembered for. So, uh, how's it coming along, Bino?

Bino: AAAAAGH!

Dr Z: What is it? Is he molesting you?

Bino: HE'S CRAWLING UP MY URETHRA!

Dr Z: What, the flower?

Bino: THE FLOWER IS CRAWLING UP MY URETHRA!

Dr Z: Fascinating!

Bino: AND SINGING! THE FLOWER IS SINGING AS IT CRAWLS UP MY URETHRA!

Dr Z: Wow, this is much better than I expected. We'll have that hatch open in no time, Bino!

*

Dr Z: So you're saying the only thing in the chamber was additional misery?

Bino: Yeah, misery is one word for it, I watched my own eyes fall out, how is that even possible?

Dr Z: I'm sorry, Bino, I really thought that would work.

Bino: What are you basing any of this on?

Dr Z: Science, Bino! Speculative science!

Bino: I'm going to murder you!

Sausage Cat: Can I do butt science?

Flower: Hello!

Bino: Oh good God.

Dr Z: You let a creature from hell come back with you?

Bino: Get out of here, you weirdo!

Flower: Aww, why does everyone always think I'm a weirdo?

Sausage Cat: You've hurt its feelings, Bino.

Flower: I can't even take pictures of monkey penises without people thinking I'm a weirdo!

Bino: Alright, I'm taking you back.

Meredith: Charles? There you are!

Dr Z: What are you doing here, Meredith? I'm doing science so hard right now!

Meredith: I found your keys, they were in one of my hat boxes.

Dr Z: What were they doing there? And who the hell has hat boxes?

Bino: I'm back! Whoa, what's with all the blood?

Dr Z: You materialised where Meredith was standing.

Sausage Cat: Then she exploded.

Bino: Oh God, I- I just killed your wife?

Dr Z: *sigh* It's okay, Bino... I have more.

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14y ago

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