Do narcissist come back

Answer 1

when they come to realize their mistakes. It happens most times but not always.

Answer 2

If you ask this question because you 'truly' know what a person considered to be a narcissist is, then I don't understand why you would want this person to come back unless you past the point of return: encroached in their web of abuse.

My answer is based solely on my own experience as well as what I have learned through research. In no way am I licensed to diagnose disorders, however, I have spent a great deal of time dealing with this affliction (Narcissism). First of all, narcissism is a personality disorder and according to research, it is not treatable (such as depression, schizophrenia, etc.). I can tell you that being the person that the narcissist "chooses to keep coming back to is like living in someone else's personal, mental and emotional hell. Eventually, you will wish that the N just wouldn't come back...disappear...for dread of the emotional, mental, and spiritual insanity the N will bring with him/her.

Whether or not a N will come back depends greatly on what his/her association was with you from the beginning. In other words, what I am saying is that the N has chosen you ONLY to satisfy his/her narcissistic supply (NS) (in whatever way and for whatever reason the N has at the time). For instance, an N finds no harm in putting forth the effort to "charm" that person into wanting to spend time with him/her...even if for one night. It could take days, even weeks before the N gets you to give in, but for the N, gaining that NS was more than worth it.

So, if this is a situation where the N needed a quick fix, then the N probably won't come back. However, if this is a situation where you show some level of co-dependency and the N realizes that you can provide him/her with the attention (be it sex, money, drugs, affection, housing, etc.), the N WILL come back...

I hope this answers your question, and based on what I have experienced in a relationship with an N that started while we were teenagers, I would hope that you don't want the N to come back. However, I can only say this if you believe without a shadow of doubt that this individual possesses this personality disorder. It is normal to show some level of narcissism without being a narcissist. On the contrary, when you have known someone for many years and can match all of their personality traits to the disorder, as well as match what you've experienced as a result of the N w/documented symptoms...then you are probably dealing with a narcissist.

I met my N when we were 16 years old. Now knowing what I know, I am able to say that there were hints of this disorder very early on but I was too young to know any better. I thought it was because we were kids and eventually he would grown into a man. Well, I can say that 17 years later (both of us age 33 now) and after becoming a "man", the personality traits are still visible and worse. The consequences of being someone who held onto an N for so long and have kids with an N have been detrimental to my happiness, health and growth to say the least. After living together for 7 years, I was able to see his whole life. There were aspects of his life that he had hid from others (including me) for years, but at this point, he could no longer hide "all" of him (or at least he wanted me to think was "him").

Over time, I thought something was wrong with me until I realized how much I had taken off of him, all of the boundaries that he had broken, and how insensitive he was to me although I have four children with him. No matter how involved or in love you think you are with an N, he/she will inevitably push you to the point of no return...literally. Unfortunately, by this time you have been gutted by the N. Left feeling rejected and picking up the pieces to put you back together.

If you want this N to come back, just be aware of what you could be dealing with and getting yourself into. Do your research on the disorder and, if at all possible, speak with a professional in this area. Just know what you could be getting into because when the N won't stop coming back it is awful hard to regain the strength to stop the cycle.