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It is very important to try and figure out what the reasons are for waiting and do they outway the reasons for leaving? Fear is usually the determing factor. Keep supporting what is best for your friend but don't attempt to make any decisions for them, with courage they will make the best decision in time.

Maybe she is in love with him and that's why she makes excuses, or maybe she just feels sorry for him. why don't you bring up everything that he put her through so she could see that her relationship is going the wrong way and she should go for someone else. I bet she could do better, and probably she deserves better too.

bye...

The first thing you have to do is BELIEVE everything she says. Also, be very supportive and patient. If you have never endured emotional abuse, it is hard for you to understand what she is going through. She is feeling very INSECURE and inadequate about herself, relationships, etc. She probably has diminshed trust also...as she is more than likely being fed "empty promises." She is probably under the impression that the "destructive" relationship is her fault and is beleiving that lie. What I needed when I finally got free (and believe me I was in your friends shoes...thinking if I changed, or if I loved him more, did more, acted better, spoke better...etc)was my friends listening to me...period! I already knew it wasn't a good relationship...but I believed in a "hope" it would turn for the better. Towards the end he was dating other women...unknown to me...or if he did tell me, it was to get me jealous to "act" better.Don't say negative things to her....she needs ABSOLUTE positive responses.

Patience is a virtue. Don't continually talk "bad" about his/her abuser, it will only drive the friend away from you. Be there for him/her in the fighting stages of the relationship, and listen and be supportive. If you do that, then your friend will trust you and openly discuss things with you. Throw out the idea of leaving a few times, but let your friend escape on their own, in due time.

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10y ago

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