How can you love yourself?

Answer 1

Some love of self - and obviously I don't mean crass selfishness - is an element of self-esteem, which in turn is a prerequisite for respecting others and hence for sound relationships.

Answer 2

:) that is a big one! I think the first thing is realizing that you're not alone. I can guarantee you that most people have problems with loving themselves. I've struggled with that as well. I shall share what I know. Good luck!

1. remember the good and the bad

I have good days and bad. you have good days and bad. If you're anything like me, you enjoy and are proud of your successes for about 2 hours, whereas your failures seem to make a permanent home in your brain, to shadow every new initiative and endeavor. And then when you look back on your life the failures seem so large in comparison to your successes because you devote a smaller portion of your time and of your brain to the latter. Keep a balanced point of view. Remember it all, and take it in, accept yourself as you are. One thing that works for me is ritualizing things. Like every time something good happens, do a little ritual to commemorate it. It doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be writing a short thank you letter to a friend who was there for "you, or putting up little post-its on your wall saying "today I did this which was awesome". also helps to ritualize the bad: if you just got dumped write a letter to your ex and burn it. or if you just did something that makes you feel bad, decide that you will think about it, mourn it if necessary, for the next 15 mins, after which you will do as dumbledore does and remove that memory, thought and feeling out of your brain.

2. enjoy what you do and do things you enjoy. surround yourself with good people. do things! get busy, pursue hobbies, learn more about what you love. start cooking elaborate meals. make a list of things you've always wanted to do and do them. if there's no money, it can be simple things like taking up jogging or knitting or a sport. Find a thing, that is yours, that you enjoy and that you can get good at.

3. be comfortable and happy being alone. I think a lot of people mix being alone with being lonely. But once you get good at being alone, things become a lot easier. Do not rely on others' approval to feel happy.

4. Compartmentalize. Say you failed a class. it means you failed a class. that is all. it doesn't mean that YOU are a failure. you're prob good at other things. and have succeeded at a lot of things without even acknowledging them. Say you just went through a horrible break up, you feel really bad. it doesn't mean that you are a bad boyfriend or girlfriend, it doesn't change the fact that you're good at this other thing, maybe your job for example.

5. you are a snowflake. I apologize for the cliche. But a lot of people don't understand that society is very demanding on individuals. if you're a girl, you're told by the media and seemingly everyone, that you need be a blond virgin who is desperate to get laid (if not she's frigid) who is skinny but curvy, who is very successful but a great housewife, intelligent but nonthreatening and very social and bla bla bla. the list goes on and on and on. it's never enough. Similarly for boys: you need to be thin and have a huge muscled torso, a huge you-know-what, a god-like drive, sensitive yet assertive, and a real man is not gay or vegetarian or bbq hating or anything-other-than-beer drinking or Country Music loving and I'm going to stop. a lot of people seem to be under the impression that there is this perfection to strive for and if you don't fit that very limiting image of perfection, you are a loser and no one will ever love you. this is complete baloney. find friends who are good at seeing and loving you for who you are. if you find yourself surrounded by people who are constantly trying to change you or judge you, you might want to consider not heeding their advice.

6. the grass is not greener anywhere else. you may be getting the feeling that everyone else is super happy and in peace and perfect. you may know someone who seems to have it all, or you find yourself jealous at other people's successes. stop. it's not worth it. be happy with yourself, set your standard yourself, and don't let others' successes diminish your own. there is a certain quote:

"The perfect ones. The beautiful ones. The right ones, the just ones, the noble ones. The ones who never break down crying in restaurants, who never do anything in secret that they would be ashamed of. The normal ones. The healthy ones. The ones who always plan ahead. The content ones. The happy ones. The ones who work hard and reap the benefits, who brush and floss after every single meal. The well-adjusted ones. The popular ones. The ones who never disappoint, the little boys who do grow up to be president. The lucky ones. The ones with perfect skin and perfect teeth and perfect figures. The ones who want what they have and have what they want.

They don't exist. The ones posing as them are even more effed up than you."

---Not sure where it's from

Good luck! and I apologize for rambling on.

Answer 3

to love yourself is to have respect for yourself and others have respect for you to