How do you console the family of the deceased?

Answer 1

To console someone listen to the person, let the person cry, don't interrupt the person, give him or her a hug if you were close prior to the person's loss. Give him or her a smile and nod silently to let them know you understand and verbally tell the person you are available for talking, listening or getting the person out of the house or taking him or her to someplace special or the grave site if there is one.

Give the person a nice card that says you will ready to talk and give the person your phone number and offer to help with difficult tasks, then follow through on your offer.

Let the person know what you will miss about the deceased person. Tell the person you wish he or she was still here.

Avoid these cliche lines:

I am so sorry for your loss.

He or she was such a good person.

You will get over this with time. Ugh most grievers want to slug the person who says this.

It will be all right.

You are better off or He or She is better off.

Don't feel bad, He or she is in a better place now.

Things will get better.

That was a wonderful funeral.

It is better to tell the griever you care about them and are wanting to help them and that you will miss the deceased person. If you are a believer pray for the person too.

Answer 2

It depends a little on how soon it is after death, and what were the reasons, and if it was expected or sudden. The family may be in any various stages of shock, denial, grief, or even anger. They may be angry at the person for dying. Or angry with themselves because of something they did or didn't do.

Often a good way is to encourage them to talk about the memories they have of the deceased person. You can talk about how you were affected by the person, if they were known to you.

Sometimes people don't want to talk, but are happy just to have someone there to be sad with. Flowers or a card or some home-cooked food are often useful just to show in a little way that you care about what has happened.

Answer

Give them a hug, say you're sorry it happened. If you have a good story about the person, and there's an opening, tell it.