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Probably the best thing you've done is to rethink going directly back to the source of your anger. Nothing that you could possibly need (apology, explanation, venting) will do you any good at this point. Anger is part of the process you need to go through and it will [truly] fade over time. One thing you might do is to write a letter to him, and not send it. Either burn it ceremonially or let it go out with the tide. Anger is an understandable emotion when dealing with an N. It also means you are on the right (& healing) track. It must be released or it can make you sick. Exercise, writing, and talking with a friend or counselor are a few healthy ways to work through it. I am only now truly feeling angry about my situation and it's been 2 years since my discoveries! That's how long I have suppressed it (not good). I am applying (to myself) the advice I just offered. Be sure to get it all out. Otherwise, it can grow toxic and not only hurt you, but those near you. Treat yourself with compassion, and give yourself full permission to get as angry as you need to. It's okay. You are a valuable and worthy soul. That anger is a good sign you have healthy self-esteem. Somewhere deep within, you know you did not deserve what happened to you. Give that emotion a voice, energy, and the freedom to express itself. Then when you are ready, take it to a higher level. Allow it to turn into a love for yourself that cannot help but overflow to everyone around you and create the current that will move you into a far more beautiful place in your life. Brighter days are ahead. Take care, AlwaysLearning

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