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Healing from someone that is a pathalogical liar is the same as any marriage gone bad for various reasons and it's tough on the person who did nothing wrong. You didn't do anything wrong and marriage IS a gamble. If we never know ourselves 100% (and we don't) then how can we always be expected to choose the right mate or friends. We have to take chances. You took a chance and it didn't work out.

I was married to a person who didn't know the 5 letter word "truth" and he was a womanizer. My heart was broken and I felt like "I" had failed in our marriage. It just takes time to get over the heartbreak and it's a grieving process. We can feel like failures for not sticking it out, or "what did I do wrong." Sit and write down the good and bad about your marriage. What you did or didn't do in that marriage and write the same list regarding your spouse. Then put that list away for a week to 10 days and haul it back out and read it. You'll have your answer! Then burn the list! Actually put the paper in the fireplace, stove, whatever, and watch that sucker burn and believe it or not it will set you free.

You can't control other people. If you tried your very best in the marriage and your partner refused to seek help for their problem or they cheated on you then feel sorry for them, not mad at them. Get your own place, meet other friends, go on a vacation (if you can) to clear your head, and start over. I always believe that sometimes we have to go through painful situations in our lives (sort of like peeling an onion one layer at a time) to find what is good for us. I ended up getting my own apartment, living on my own, working hard, having fun with my friends and getting to know myself and what "I" was all about. I was surprised to find I had never given myself a chance (or ever really though about it) as to who and what I was. I ended up meeting and marrying a wonderful man and our 33rd Wedding Anniversary is coming up in August.

Walk away from this person. Believe it or not you have learned something from this mess and take what you have learned and move forward. NEVER let anyone sway you from what your hopes and dreams are for your future. You're stronger than you think!

Good luck Marcy

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10y ago

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