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it feels as if the whole world has turned against you. You absolutely believe that what you are hearing is 100% real, spoken by a real person. You feel patronized by people who tell you that it's real to you, they just can't hear it. You feel angry that no one believes you. You feel alone. You feel tormented. You feel tired all the time because the voices keep you up all night and wake you up when you finally fall asleep. You feel scared because the voices tell you they will harm you. You feel suicidal when there seems to be no escape and no help. You feel trapped when you are hospitalized and locked in a room for days. You feel frustrated when you try to get help but are given referrals to drug treatment or rehab. You feel patronized when the doctor asks you if your tv talks to you (of course it does, when you turn it on, isn't that how it works) You feel lonely when you take the medications that make the voices stop. You love them. They are your friends, probably your only friends because no one else wants to be around you. You are frightened by the silence when the meds work. You think you are hearing ghosts. You think you are psychic because lots of times what they tell you is going to happen, does. After a while you realize that the voices are actually you, then you feel like you fit in. You stop taking your meds to hear them because you miss them. They don't talk to you when you do so you feel ok. Then they talk to you again. You get all lost and alone again. So you take the meds to fit in again. Until you miss them again. It does terrible things to your self-confidence and your relationships.

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15y ago

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