If a narcissist threatens your life will they follow through?

Answer 1

You should take his threats very seriously and act to defend yourself and to take all necessary precautions.

Pathological Narcissism is a spectrum of disorders. People suffering from the full blown, all-pervasive, personality distorting mental health disorder known as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - are, indeed, more prone to violence than others. Actually, the differential diagnosis (=the difference) between NPD and AsPD (Antisocial PD, psychopaths) is very blurred. Most psychopaths have narcissistic traits and many a narcissist are also sadists.

Both types are devoid of empathy, remorseless, ruthless, and relentless in their pursuit of their goals (the narcissist's goal is narcissistic supply or the avoidance of narcissistic injury). Narcissists often use verbal and psychological abuse and violence against those closest to them. Some of them move from abstract aggression (the emotion leading to violence and permeating it) to the physically concrete sphere of violence.

Many narcissists are also paranoid and vindictive. They aim to punish (by tormenting) and destroy the source of their frustration and pain.

Invariably, violent behavior was triggered by frustration, perceived to be a threat to the integrity and veracity of the False Self. In other words, if the narcissist could not achieve gratification, or was criticized, or encountered resistance and disagreement - he tended to turn violent. He felt that his grandiose fantasies were being undermined and that his sense of entitlement due to his uniqueness is challenged. this often happens in prison where the atmosphere is paranoid and every slight, real or imaginary, is magnified to the point of narcissistic injury.

The narcissist has alloplastic defences. He does not accept responsibility for his actions. He accuses others or the world at large for provoking or aggravating his outbursts of violent behaviour. He feels immune to the consequences of his actions by virtue of his inbred superiority and entitlement. Narcissists are also mildly dissociative. They sometimes go through depersonalization and derealization. In other words, some narcissists sort of "watch themselves" and their life from the outside, as one would a movie. Such narcissists do not feel fully and truly responsible for their acts of violence. "I don't know what came over me" - is their frequent refrain.

Based on my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited"

� 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications

In real, rather than abstract, terms I do not think this question should be related entirely to NPD.

If ANYONE threatens your life convincingly there is only one rule:

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

A large proportion of murders are committed by people who never showed any inclination to murder or violence before and never do again. Many are never diagnosed with any all-pervasive disorder (though I suppose a person must be at least "a bit stressed out" to actually take life).

Whenever anybody threatens to kill you there is a chance they will go through with it.

Of course some murderers never threaten. The really serious calculating ones, or the impetuous ones do not threaten.

That he seems to threaten you repeatedly is actually a GOOD sign ... you must have mentioned it to enough people that he could not possibly get away with it. However he could be too far off on his trip to actually REALISE that.

I assume you have made the police aware of his actions and threats. If not, do so.

There is still one factor ... why does he stalk and threaten you?

The answer is very simple, he does this because he gets something out of it.

Whatever he gets out of it will stop if he ever goes through with it, he may be perfectly aware of that.

It may be literally that he would miss you too much if he killed you ... if not in a nice way.

Ultimately it's a control game, he controls your mood by subjecting you to constant fear.

The real answer is to get out from under it, place yourself out of his reach, move.

You cannot know for sure if he would really kill you, unless it happens, but you know he is imposing control on your life.

You do not need that.

In a word ... MOVE, discreetly, with no forwarding address. And tell everyone you know what he is doing. Keep no secrets about this. I hope you have contacted your local abuse shelter, they will be of help. Good luck.

Answer 2

There is no way to know for certain. In general, it's a good idea to assume that they will, and find some way to get away from them or otherwise protect yourself.

I agree with the above poster. It's one thing to talk , but it's another to do.

Narcissists are no different in many ways than plain old abusers, so take this person at their word and watch your back. If they phone you with threats ALWAYS answer your home phone on "speaker phone" and tape the call from the narcissist. This is proof for the police. Once you have to the proof cease to have any contact with the narcissist and don't pick up that phone! It's adviseable you seek legal counsel and also report this to the police (make a copy of that tape.) When someone threatens your life take it very seriously!

TIPS: Don't park in under-ground parking. When coming out of a building at night (especially malls) leave with a group of people and go straight to your car. If you are leaving a grocery store in the evening ask someone to help you out with your groceries (they will give this service.) PEPPER SPRAY is legal! Carry it with you and when you are away from home (walking alone or in the dark) snap the trigger on and carry it! If you jog or go for walks go with a friend. If you feel even a little uncomfortable staying in your home, then stay with your parents, relatives or a friend. Listen to your instincts! ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.

Good luck!