What can detract from a person's ability to adjust to marriage?

Answer 1

That is a loaded question for religion, traditions and region are just a few of the myriads of important factors to take into consideration. Assuming you are in the US in a typical, relatively safe neighborhood, there is still a long list of detractors. If you are truly "in love" with your spouse, the adjustment shouldn't be too difficult. Many, across the world and throughout time, have married for reasons like $, pregnancy, social status, physical appearance, fear of being alone, the list goes on and on. If the person you are considering wedding is perfect for you, then you 2 will be able to endure anything with patience, honesty, compromise and taking the other person's needs and viewpoint into consideration. These principles have to be from both of you, not just one. It only works if you both work at it. If one or both parties isn't emotionally developed enough, like, say, a child or someone who has been sheltered like a child or if there is mental illness, depression, a history of domestic abuse or any serious addictions like substance abuse, gambling, et cettera, then that could sabotage the union. From my experience, the 2 factors that seem to kill marriages almost as much as the couple not truly being "in love" do, are financial disputes and adultry. Hammer out who pays what bills and how personal $'s will be divvied up before moving in together or getting a joint account. I recommend getting separate accounts, actually, so that there is no confusions. Many successful couples do this. Being able to admit being "wrong" and trying to resolve problems/disputes without running to family, a friend, a local motel, another's arms or an attorney, is a lesson in humility few divorced couples ever tried. For my husband and I, the concept and word "compromise" has kept us together. There are books on physical intimacy, managing $, cooking, keeping house....but working through your issues with one another's irritating actions or lack there of is a deal breaker. Living with anyone is going to be difficult, regardless of how much you love them. Getting annoyed or having problems w/ them is inevitable, but treating the marriage as though it was disposable and thinking "divorce" is always an option is no different than thinking that "suicide" is an option when life gets sticky. If you are honestly and truly "in love" with him or her, then you have a solid foundation and if you don't know if you are "in love" or just "infatuated", then you aren't.