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i have read of what you should do when a guy is with somebody else and you don t stand a chance with him especially in my case i ve tried everything yet i m his second choice and to be honest i don t know if i m his choice at all you see he does not talk to me or show to me a lot but i m so in love with him that i can t stand to be without him in my life not even a day when i imagine my life without him my life has no meaning at all he gave me the impression or at least i got the impression that he was single and all of a sudden some 4 months ago he let me know that he is engaged so i was shocked and i didn t know what to really do somehow i thought it was a kind like a game since we had some of our connection through facebook so i kept going on beleiving that it was a part of the game and i have really mad and i told him and showed him my other kind of mean and ego self but the i understood that he knew i was in a wierd case myself and he knew i couldn t do a lot to change it and sometimes i blamed him for that anyway this last time he made it perfectly clear to me that he is not alone and that he is still engaged to someone whom i can say looks pretty while i m not so anyway i ve done my best to get him out my life since i know it s not right to be his second choice or any choice at all but for the first time i realize that i can not act with my sense but only with my feelings lately i ve been a complete mess i placed their picture from facebook in my desktop so i don t forget that he is not single and i burst in tears all the time something i rarely did before now all i do is that i don t know how to laugh and smile anymore and i feel day by day my life is worthless without him but i can t help it i m so deeply in love with him that i d rather be alone all my life than think my life without him so either his second choice or not his choice at all there s nothing i can do i ve tried everything i love him so much and nothing or anyone can make me stop this feeling i don t care if people who knew think i m crazy or feel sorry about me but that s the way i feel and i don t have the strength to do anything about it besides i don t want to i ll always be here for him if he ever decides to be with me i ll be available if not he ll always be in my dreams and i d rather live a life with him in my dreams that a life without him nooone and nothing else interests or matters to me than him i ve realized that lately and there s nothing i can do about it

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15y ago

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