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What factors lead someone to believe that another person has Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
I am married to a man whom I was separated from for 4 years. I betrayed me with my friends and a school teacher. I lost custody of my children to him. I was happy being alone. My husband persude me the entire 4 years we were apart. While we were apart the neighbors he betrayed me with, finally realized It wasn't me It was him. They have since apoligized for everything, they told me he was a pathological liar. I mistreated the children. I am a Christian I continue to pray to God. I was God who led me to this website. I husband has every single trait of Narcissism. Me and my mother-in-law have become great friends she realized all the lies he said about me were false. I told her I thought he was narcissist, I sent her the information and she agreed. I also asked her what happened in his life to make him this way. Because he treats his mom really bad. She told me that when he was born she was out in the streets partying and she never spent anytime with him. Although my husband and I are back to together I have forgiven him. I will continue to pray for him, I was stay out of his way. One day he is nice to me, the next day he is mean to me. He is self righteous. If I need to call him I can never reach him on his cell phone. Everyone thinks he is a saint. But I know him, I leave papers around the house pertaining to narcissism to let him know that I know him PS just pray for my children they have been through so much
AnswerI think I finally figured out that narcissist can't be pleased. They need to keep you in a one-down position so that they feel one-up and better about themselves all the time. I think it is called dichotomy or catch-22. They criticize you for doing something, then criticize you for not doing it. You realize you are in constantly put into no-win situation. They are subtle pouters and ignorers and won't say what is wrong. Occasionally, they let you know. Mine was upset when I made more money than he did, but then upset when I made less money. Upset when I cleaned house, but upset when I didn't. He is upset when I do well, and upset when I do terrible. This is how to cope. Live for yourself, and don't bother trying to please them. Do something because you want to do it. Don't expect gratitude, compliments. Secretly thank yourself and think of how your effort will pay off for you someday, even if they constantly criticize you. Their criticisms are subtle. Such as you scrub the entire floor, and they come along with a spondge and clean a spot and huff and puff, or sigh heavily. As if to say, "you missed a spot." Yet the floor was filthy the day before and you didn't see them out with the spondge or mop then. They are really good at letting you do all the work, then coming along and doing one last final touch and believe they have teamwork and did their part. If you don't stop them, they eventually start stealing credit for your work. They don't have autonomy. They delegate everything to you, then micromanage, over-shoulder comment. I felt like an object or tool and one of those clap-on-clap-off lamps. Finally, I said, "you want something done your perfectionist way, then do it yourself."
AnswerI dated a narcissist for 4 years. Our relationship began with him showering me with compliments, attention, small gifts and expensive dinners. He called me constantly and would not take no for an answer. His eagerness was very flattering and I am sad to say that I fell completely in love with him. Shortly after I was smitten he began belittling me, my family and my friends. I am a designer by education with a great eye for color and style and he was compelled to criticize the way I dressed, the manner in which I decorated my home and the car I drove. Two years into the relationship he broke up with me to date other women in order to satisfy his constant need for attention. It took me 5 long months to pull myself together and moved on with my life. I began dating a wonderful man and when my ex found out he pursued me without fail. Once again his persistence got to me and I eventually caved in, went back with him and broke the other man's heart. It was not long before his old patterns resurfaced. I threatened to break it off and he suggested counseling. The therapist recognized his behavior immediately. The doctor called me and gave me suggested reading about Narcisstic Personality Disorder. He hit the nail on the head. I am thankful to say that I was able to get away from him but it took me 18 months.
Too many compliments...unnatural persistence...superiority complex...followed up with large doses of criticism. RUN!!!! They like the thrill of the chase but once they've caught you they will eat you alive.
AnswerI can relate to the post about floor mopping. The N I was with was similar...his house would always be in total disaray; I would clean it only to have him critisise me for something missed or not done to his liking. I once drove 2 hours to his home to iron for him for his overseas trip. He requested I do it. After spending all day ironing his clothes (and I hate ironing) he 'politely' told me that I had missed this or that or "You didnt do a very good job of that one darling". He then proceeded to scrunch these clothes into his dirty backpack. He liked cooking and while eating a meal he had cooked I would often hear "Mmm...very nice dont you think?". If I cooked it would be, "Not bad darling but I think you could have used...blah blah blah". He often asked me to drive if he was drunk but critised how I braked or how I approached roundabouts. He ordered me to weave in here, duck there, toot him or flash lights at her. He nearly killed us many times with him as either driver or passenger. Being with an N justifies the old adage 'Be damned if I do and damned if I dont'.
What else can I help you with?
Is schizophrenia the only disorder in which a person might incorrectly believe he is secretly the richest person in the world?
No, it is not. Other psychotic disorders can include delusions of grandeur as well. So can narcissistic personality disorder.
Can you have bipolar and a personality disorder?
Yes, I believe that both bipolar disorder and antisocial personality disorder can coexist. People are complex and unique and both the labels of bipolar disorder and antisocial personality disorder are abstractions are are ways to classify human beings.
What is NPD disease?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.Narcissism is a term used to describe a focus on the self and self-admiration that is taken to an extreme. The word "narcissism" comes from a Greek myth in which a handsome young man named Narcissus sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with it.Narcissistic personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called dramatic personality disorders. People with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image. Narcissistic personality disorder is further characterized by an abnormal love of self, an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance, and a preoccupation with success and power. However, these attitudes and behaviors do not reflect true self-confidence. Instead, the attitudes conceal a deep sense of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem.What Are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?In many cases, people with narcissistic personality disorder: Are self-centered and boastfulSeek constant attention and admirationConsider themselves better than othersExaggerate their talents and achievementsBelieve that they are entitled to special treatmentAre easily hurt but may not show itSet unrealistic goalsMay take advantage of others to achieve their goalsOther common traits of narcissistic personality disorder include the following:Preoccupation with fantasies that focus on unlimited success, power, intelligence, beauty, or loveBelief that he or she is "special" and unique, and can only be understood by other special peopleExpectation that others will automatically go along with what he or she wantsInability to recognize or identify with the feelings, needs, and viewpoints of othersEnvy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or herHypersensitivity to insults (real or imagined), criticism, or defeat, possibly reacting with rage, shame and humiliationArrogant behavior and/or attitudeWhat Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?The exact cause of narcissistic personality disorder is not known. However, many mental health professionals believe it results from extremes in child rearing. For example, the disorder might develop as the result of excessive pampering, or when a child's parents have a need for their children to be talented or special in order to maintain their own self-esteem. On the other end of the spectrum, narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
Is it dangerous to live with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder?
Yes - My mother has this disorder - they hide this abusive behaviour very well - but believe me - it is so destructive - I would never knowingly choose to live with a narcissistic person - all they care for is themselves - this you would not know at first - they will try to destroy your life and have complete control over you, and abuse your children or loved ones - even pets. They constantly play with your emotions play people off against one another - they are compulsive liars - Its is a living nightmare!!
How early can a person be diagnosed with narcissism?
NPD cannot be diagnosed with any certainty prior to early adolescence (13-14). Narcissistic traits, a narcissistic style, and even a narcissistic personality can be evident earlier in life, though. Many old school shrinks hesitate to diagnose anyone with anything until they are 18 as that is when the personality is fully developed. Some wait until 21. If some one seems to have a disorder they like to say showing NPD characteristics. I believe that although the personality is not fully developed until 21, that is all the more reason to seek treatment for an adolescent that is showing narcissistic traits (or any disorder)
Are there teenage narcissists?
Yes and no. A teenager may exhibit traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, BUT a teenager's personality is still DEVELOPING. But just as there are teenage psychopaths who murder, there are teenage narcissists. Many teenagers exhibit narcissistic traits, but this can actually be a normal and healthy phase of growing up. After all, if they don't believe that they can be better, they might collapse into a "loser mentality." The difference shows when they start to enter adulthood. Normal teenagers who were narcissists (which are most of them) will get either bored with grandiosity or give up narcissism due to life constraints. Some others will have their narcissism evolve into an ambitious personality, which can still be a good trait. Unfortunately, a number of these teenagers (though relatively very few) will retain pathological narcissism and develop Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What are the stats of a Narcissist living a normal life meaning settling down and living out their life with one person?
By Robert C. Schwartz, Ph.D., DAPA Shannon D. Smith, Ph.D., DAPA Abstract Narcissistic personality disorder is a common and often disabling syndrome. Although persons with narcissistic personality disorder are often difficult to treat, certain psychotherapeutic strategies have been identified which can lead to effective interventions with these clients. This article presents strategies for assessing and treating narcissistic personality disorder during psychotherapy. Both theoretical and research literature is summarized in order to highlight useful approaches to working with clients manifesting narcissistic characteristics. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is essentially characterized as a long-term, pervasive character disorder that is defined by a consistent pattern of grandiosity, a strong need for admiration, and a distinct lack of empathy, which begins in late adolescence or early adulthood. Individuals diagnosed with NPD routinely overestimate their personal abilities, often appearing arrogant and boastful. They also tend to naturally believe that others ascribe the same importance to their abilities as they do. However, when praise or assumed value is not forthcoming, they usually react swiftly and intensely. Such reactions may range from surprise and shock, to emotional deflation and depression, to extreme anger and hostility. These responses are generally thought to occur after the individual
What is the name of the syndrome for people who think they are very clever when in fact they are stupid?
There are a number of mental disorders that can fall in the category.Autistic Spectrum Disease, Asperger's Syndrome, and SavantsThey can be very smart, but in a limited field, and have difficulties with more general criteria.There are several personality disorders that might be related.Cluster A -- People who appear "odd or eccentric." Paranoid Personality DisorderSchizoid Personality DisorderSchizotypal Personality DisorderCluster B -- Highly egocentric people who may appear "dramatic, emotional, erratic."Antisocial Personality DisorderBorderline Personality DisorderHistrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality DisorderPerhaps of the above list, Narcissistic Personality Disorder fits best into the category of people with hyperinflated egos, however, most of the personality disorders involve the individual putting themselves and their needs separate from society's needs.
Do you believe that all of us has personality disorder?
Everyone probably has some minor flaws in their personalities, but certainly not everyone has personality disorders that need to be diagnosed and treated.
Why is it that all narcissists have so many personality traits in common?
Because they are narcissists.AnswerTo be a Narcissist in the strictest sense, one would have to fit five of the eight criteria for having the Narcissistic personality disorder. I believe this is explained in depth in the very first FAQ "What is a Narcissist?"Even then some of their quirks and nuances are chillingly similar. The way they look or don't look at you, The facial expressions. The phrases they use. Mannerisms, etc. Even the way they dress.What is odd to note is that anyone suffering from any personality disorder has so many traits in common with others suffering the same disorder. Yet any of one "healthy" individual has traits unique from others.
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by?
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive distrust and suspicion of others, interpreting their motives as malevolent. Individuals with this disorder often have difficulty forming close relationships, as they believe others are out to harm or deceive them. They may be guarded, defensive, and quick to perceive threats in their interactions with others.
What is the definition of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality DisorderPathological narcissism is a life-long pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition. As distinct from healthy narcissism which we all possess, pathological narcissism is maladaptive, rigid, persisting, and causes significant distress, and functional impairment.Pathological narcissism was first described in detail by Freud in his essay "On Narcissism" (1915). Other major contributors to the study of narcissism are: Melanie Klein, Karen Horney, Franz Kohut, Otto Kernberg, Theodore Millon, Elsa Roningstam, Gunderson, and Robert Hare.What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) (formerly known as megalomania or, colloquially, as egotism) is a form of pathological narcissism. It is a Cluster B (dramatic, emotional, or erratic) personality disorder. Other Cluster B personality disorders are the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD), and the Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) first appeared as a mental health diagnosis in the DSM III-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) in 1980.Diagnostic CriteriaThe ICD-10, the International Classification of Diseases, published by the World Health Organisation in Geneva [1992] regards the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as "a personality disorder that fits none of the specific rubrics". It relegates it to the category "Other Specific Personality Disorders" together with the eccentric, "haltlose", immature, passive-aggressive, and psychoneurotic personality disorders and types.The American Psychiatric Association, based in Washington D.C., USA, publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) [2000] where it provides the diagnostic criteria for the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (301.81, p. 717).The DSM-IV-TR defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as "an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts", such as family life and work.The DSM specifies nine diagnostic criteria. Five (or more) of these criteria must be met for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) to be rendered.[In the text below, I have proposed modifications to the language of these criteria to incorporate current knowledge about this disorder. My modifications appear in bold italics.][My amendments do not constitute a part of the text of the DSM-IV-TR, nor is the American Psychiatric Association (APA) associated with them in any way.]Proposed Amended Criteria for the Narcissistic Personality DisorderFeels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying, demands to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements); Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion; Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions); Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic Supply); Feels entitled. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her unreasonable expectations for special and favourable priority treatment; Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends; Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others; Constantly envious of others and seeks to hurt or destroy the objects of his or her frustration. Suffers from persecutory (paranoid) delusions as he or she believes that they feel the same about him or her and are likely to act similarly; Behaves arrogantly and haughtily. Feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he or she considers inferior to him or her and unworthy. Prevalence and Age and Gender FeaturesAccording to the DSM IV-TR, between 2% and 16% of the population in clinical settings (between 0.5-1% of the general population) are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Most narcissists (50-75%, according to the DSM-IV-TR) are men.We must carefully distinguish between the narcissistic traits of adolescents - narcissism is an integral part of their healthy personal development - and the full-fledge disorder. Adolescence is about self-definition, differentiation, separation from one's parents, and individuation. These inevitably involve narcissistic assertiveness which is not to be conflated or confused with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)."The lifetime prevalence rate of NPD is approximately 0.5-1 percent; however, the estimated prevalence in clinical settings is approximately 2-16 percent. Almost 75 percent of individuals diagnosed with NPD are male (APA, DSM IV-TR 2000)."From the Abstract of Psychotherapeutic Assessment and Treatment of Narcissistic Personality Disorder By Robert C. Schwartz,Ph.D., DAPA and Shannon D. Smith, Ph.D., DAPA (American Psychotherapy Association, Article #3004 Annals July/August 2002)Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is exacerbated by the onset of aging and the physical, mental, and occupational restrictions it imposes.In certain situations, such as under constant public scrutiny and exposure, a transient and reactive form of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has been observed by Robert Milman and labelled "Acquired Situational Narcissism".There is only scant research regarding the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but studies have not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to it.Comorbidity and Differential DiagnosesNarcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity"), such as mood disorders, eating disorders, and substance-related disorders. Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are frequently abusive and prone to impulsive and reckless behaviours ("dual diagnosis").Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is commonly diagnosed with other personality disorders, such as the Histrionic, Borderline, Paranoid, and Antisocial Personality Disorders.The personal style of those suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) should be distinguished from the personal styles of patients with other Cluster B Personality Disorders. The narcissist is grandiose, the histrionic coquettish, the antisocial (psychopath) callous, and the borderline needy.As opposed to patients with the Borderline Personality Disorder, the self-image of the narcissist is stable, he or she are less impulsive and less self-defeating or self-destructive and less concerned with abandonment issues (not as clinging).Contrary to the histrionic patient, the narcissist is achievements-orientated and proud of his or her possessions and accomplishments. Narcissists also rarely display their emotions as histrionics do and they hold the sensitivities and needs of others in contempt.According to the DSM-IV-TR, both narcissists and psychopaths are "tough-minded, glib, superficial, exploitative, and unempathic". But narcissists are less impulsive, less aggressive, and less deceitful. Psychopaths rarely seek narcissistic supply. As opposed to psychopaths, few narcissists are criminals.Patients suffering from the range of obsessive-compulsive disorders are committed to perfection and believe that only they are capable of attaining it. But, as opposed to narcissists, they are self-critical and far more aware of their own deficiencies, flaws, and shortcomings.Clinical Features of the Narcissistic Personality DisorderThe onset of pathological narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers. Pathological narcissism is a defense mechanism intended to deflect hurt and trauma from the victim's "True Self" into a "False Self" which is omnipotent, invulnerable, and omniscient. The narcissist uses the False Self to regulate his or her labile sense of self-worth by extracting from his environment narcissistic supply (any form of attention, both positive and negative).There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions, styles, and personalities - from the mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder.Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) feel injured, humiliated and empty when criticized. They often react with disdain (devaluation), rage, and defiance to any slight, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy.The interpersonal relationships of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are typically impaired due to their lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention (narcissistic supply).Though often ambitious and capable, inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreement, and criticism make it difficult for patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) to work in a team or to maintain long-term professional achievements. The narcissist's fantastic grandiosity, frequently coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically incommensurate with his or her real accomplishments (the "grandiosity gap").Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "cerebral" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) or "somatic" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests").Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "classic" (meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM), or they are "compensatory" (their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth).Some narcissists are covert, or inverted narcissists. As codependents, they derive their narcissistic supply from their relationships with classic narcissists.Based on a survey of 1201 therapists and psychologists in clinical practice, Prof. Drew Westen of Emory University postulated the existence of three subtypes of narcissists:1. High functioning or Exhibitionist: "(H)as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, but is also articulate, energetic, outgoing, and achievement oriented." (The equivalent of the Cerebral narcissist).2. Fragile: "(W)ants to feel important and privileged to ward off painful feelings of inadequacy and loneliness" (The equivalent of the Compensatory narcissist).3. Grandiose or Malignant: "(H)as an exaggerated sense of self-importance, feels privileged, exploits others, and lusts after power." (The equivalent of the Classic narcissist).Treatment and PrognosisThe common treatment for patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is talk therapy (mainly psychodynamic psychotherapy or cognitive-behavioral treatment modalities). Talk therapy is used to modify the narcissist's antisocial, interpersonally exploitative, and dysfunctional behaviors, often with some success. Medication is prescribed to control and ameliorate attendant conditions such as mood disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorders.The prognosis for an adult suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is poor, though his adaptation to life and to others can improve with treatment.BibliographyGoldman, Howard H., Review of General Psychiatry, fourth edition, 1995. Prentice-Hall International, London. Gelder, Michael, Gath, Dennis, Mayou, Richard, Cowen, Philip (eds.), Oxford Textbook of Psychiatry, third edition, 1996, reprinted 2000. Oxford University Press, Oxford. Vaknin, Sam, Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited, eighth revised impression, 1999-2006. Narcissus Publications, Prague and Skopje. Westen, Drew et al. Refining the Construct of Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnostic Criteria and Subtypes (Posted at http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/pap.dtl )Here are more opinions from other FAQ Farmers:...characterized by a rigid, unremitting conviction of personal entitlement which drives, motivates, pervades, and dominates the entire spectrum of the individual's behavior and actions. This belief assumes an imperious position that supercedes any and all sense of social/community/family/professional association and responsibility. The individual conceptualizes and interprets rules, laws, codes, mores, and values exclusively in terms of a privately/secretly held idea of self-justification and vindication that serves to reinforce and strengthen his/her distorted and contaminated projections, images, fantasies, dogmas, doctrines and practices.
