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This is a complex problem, and it does not behoove those of us who are not involved to make too many judgments about the behavior of the people who are .Abuse is multi-generational, and the abused are as much in need of psychological help as their abusers.

People who have been abused by spouses usually come from a family of abusers -- as do the abusers themselves. They see abuse as normal behavior, and sometimes believe they actually deserve it. Although they may report it when in fear of their life or limb, they do not necessarily continue to feel as though the person is a threat. They may desperately want to believe that the person's promises to "be good" are real. (The abuser may want to believe it, as well.)

Reuniting several times is the norm, before the abused person finally is able to break away. Even then, they often become involved with another abuser, because the behavior of such people is familiar, and they may not believe they deserve anything better.

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