You are 22 years old and got married because she was pregnant you are now in love with another woman?

Answer 1

Wow, does this sound familiar. You know, I too went through almost this same thing, only I waited until after my child was born to "tie the knot" and I was older when all this occurred. Every marriage is going to go through it's ups and downs, but one thing should remain the same: commitment. You made a vow, a promise to love, and honor your wife FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES when you got married. Believe me, somedays I wish I could throw all that out the window as well, but you shouldn't. Marriage is not just some legally binding tax deduction or a stronger way to say "I love you", it is a commitment to each other that when you need someone to lean on (like now for instance) your wife will be there for you, and vice versa of course. I would suggest that you carefully think about what attracted you to this 3rd wheel in the first place. For me it was the fact that she made me feel loved, and like I was this super special guy. Once you identify this "X factor" you need to avoid it from all possible future 3rd wheels. A good way of doing this would be to discuss things openly with your wife. She will probably get mad, upset, and hurt, but be a man and own up for your feelings before you do something stupid. After discussing your "X factor" with your wife, find out if it would be possible to have your wife incorporate it for you. With my example, if my wife treats me extra special once in a while, then I no longer feel like the grass is greener elsewhere. See what I mean. It would also help to think about what first attracted you to your wife and see if you can expand upon that. Something attracted you to her initially or else you wouldn't be in this situation. If your only attracted to her behind closed doors, it may be time to branch out and expand your knowlege of Who she is. My wife is a very "quarky" person, who enrages me to the point of exhaustion, but she more often than not is a beautiful person who cares for others first and herself, well, that's usually my job, lol. Seriously though, DO NOT CHEAT!!! Once you walk down that road there is NO TURNING BACK. The saying is true: Once a cheater, always a cheater. That doesn't mean that you will always cheat, but you will always have the mentality that you do when you did. You will always be paranoid and carry the guilt for a very long time. It will hurt both of you to the point where repair, may be impossible. This is all the advice I can offer. I am still in the same struggle you are my friend, but take heart that your fight is not alone, there are many other couragous men out there that have similar questions/struggles. The answer is always the same: You made a commitment before God the Father of all creation (if your a believer like me), stand and deliver upon that commitment! God Bless.