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I think they do. BUT they will do it in a way to demean you and try and make themselves appear caring. Such as they may tell others they had to let you go as you were too in love. They love to take passive aggressive digs.

answeryes they do brag about others in third person. but they don't say "yah, yah i have another victim under my control!" they just brag what they got that person to do or to believe and make it look like its their fault for being so stupid. They also like to tell current lovers what they got all their past lovers to do, intimate details. Bear in mind if you get involved with an N he will also brag to others about his affair with you. Seldom with any feeling or real reminisnce that a normal human would. Just how he seduced another trophy. How special he was to you but never ever how special you were to him. He will also say things like "it might have turned into something serious but she stared acting this way and that way." Even if you dumped him he will make it out like he broke up with you. Like he gave it his all and you were just ungratefull and selfish.
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Why is it not OK to expose the very people that use abuse and control their victim until the victim sees what is happening and realizes shes been scammed by narcissistic ego maniac on the prowl again?

It is OK to expose the person that uses abuse to control their victim, but it is the victim that has to report their abuser. Like any abuser whether narcissistic or has a large ego others do see these flaws in the abuser, but in many cases the victim at the beginning (unaware) often refuses to believe what others have to say about their abuser until the victim finds out the hard way. Many victims can feel ashamed or angry that it took them so long to figure out that the person they loved is an abuser, but abusers are extremely sly when it comes to luring their victims into their web. There is not much you can do about the abuser if you have left him, but you should get help from an Abused Woman's Center or a psychologist to learn the signs of abusive behavior so you do not make the same mistake twice. There are often small signs from an abuser from the beginning such as perhaps telling you what to wear; order your meals at restaurants and then slowly they alienate you from your family and friends. Then the abuser has you under their complete control and that is when the victim sees the ugly side of their abuser. You can tell anyone you like what the abuser is like and some will believe you and others will not or you can move forward in your life and realize you have learned from the bad relationship and will not make the same mistake again. Generally abusers will be caught at their own game.


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Well, to keep somebody 'in check' is to keep them 'under control'. The problem here is that you are trying to control him, which will fuel any of his abusive tendencies further. I would suggest that you both see counselors, for similar reasons. You need to stop trying to control him, as you are currently in a relationship which switches roles a lot from victim to the abuser. You learn self-control, never control over others.


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