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"Camaraderie" is a French word that literally means "comrade-ship" or loosely, "friendship". But it implies both a casual quality (not necessarily CLOSE friends) and an ease of relating to one another.

So first of all, relax! Don't try too hard to impress the other person. Notice what they like to do and see if it matches what you like. If it does NOT, then look further, but this really defeats the concept at bit. Still, if the person is shy, you can often cultivate camaraderie.

Listen to them, let them tell you about themselves, their lives, what's bothering them or how they like to enjoy themselves. Even if they suggest an activity in which you were never interested , try it anyway, unless it is totally repugnant to you! You might be surprised and find that you DO like it.

Also, share your likes, dislikes, hobbies and favorite activities. Odds are, you two will have at least a couple things in common. If so, try those (it might just be sitting at a bar and talking, or seeing films together and not talking, or being totally silent, but together on a long bike ride).

If nothing pans out as a common interest after a month or so, then camaraderie probably never will develop. However, check in on this person later in life. Changes (getting married, having kids, a new job) can often bring two people closer together, just as they can often drive them apart.

Though you should not give up too easily, neither should you keep pressing the issue, if this person clearly does not want the relationship, or if you simply bore each other!

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17y ago

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