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This is me, person who posted the question. I want to stop, but I don't know how. I used to be the victim and now I am the "perp". When I was a victim, the therapist told my spouse I was codependent and it was hard as I had driven him to hurt me. He stopped after much effort and major relocations. Now I hurt him and hurt myself in the process, I feel awful that I became all the things I hated and dispised. I carry bruises from my own actions, I hurt people I love, I want to stop but I don't know how. It's from unrealistic expectations and inability to stop disturbing and obsessive thoughts about historical things that have no impact now. sigh.

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19y ago

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