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Simply put, you can't. The old superstition was a woman would bleed because her hymen was broken. Well, some women don't have a hymen, some women's hymens are more elastic, some women have already broken their hymens during other physical activities.

Now, since you can't tell, you have to decide whether or not you can accept not knowing. (And you have to decide before you tie the knot.) In my opinion, what folks did in the past is not as important as what they are going to do in the future. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship.

Another answer:Not only can you not tell; you can't even define the word. Virginity is a social contruct, not a biological condition. Does virginity end only when the hymen is broken? Only when consensual full intercourse takes place? When any body part has contact with the genitals? When nudity occurs? Or, to paraphrase Seinfeld, when a nipple appears, it's sex.

And biologically, some hymens stay intact despite the sex, and some break climbing up stairs as a toddler. Intact hymens don't mean a darned thing. Neither do broken or missing ones.

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13y ago

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