How do you have intercourse with your wife?

Answer 1

Assuming you and your wife are both virgins. chances are she's as uncomfortable as you. Unfortunately, many of us were not taught anything about sex, except perhaps that it's "bad" and you shouldn't talk about it.

That doesn't apply to married people -- you can enjoy sex with each other, and you can talk about it. I recommend Sex for Dummies, by Dr. Ruth Westheimer. It has a lot of helpful information in it (even in you're not a dummy!)

Start with a pleasant light supper. Admit that you're nervous, if you are. After all, she's your wife, and from here on out, you're in it together. Consider showering together, or a nice massage. Explore each other's bodies. See what feels good, what just tickles, what's super-sensitive. After a while, you will both probably feel sexually excited.

When a woman is ready for sex, her vagina usually produces a natural lubricant, but some times it's not enough. You can buy sexual lubricants at most larger drug stores -- check the label to be sure it works with latex condoms. When a man is ready, he will get an erection (his penis will get hard). That's when you put on a condom, if you want to prevent pregnancy. If your wife is comfortable with it, you might invite her to put it on you. In any case, let her watch if she wants to. When the condom is on, go back to kissing and stroking her to get her excited. (If she wants to move your hand to her vaginal area, let her.)

Now, it's time to put your penis into her vagina. Most people use the "missionary position" -- the man lies on top of the woman. But any position that's mutually comfortable is all right. If your wife is a virgin, the first penetration may be painful, so it might be better if she's on top. That way, she can control the speed and depth of penetration. (The pain won't last very long, by the way. It's caused by the breaking of the hymen. It's possible for the hymen to be broken as a result of masturbation or extreme physical activity.) Now, you move the penis back and forth in the vagina until you ejaculate.

Your first time might be very quick, and your wife might not feel satisfied. This is normal: it takes a lot longer for most women to reach orgasm. If your penis remains hard, you may want to keep pumping away; otherwise, you can offer to have intercourse again in 20 minutes or so. Do not fall asleep (this happens to a lot of guys after orgasm)! Go back to kissing and massaging her -- help her to feel good and stay excited!

Remember, the two of you will be together for a long time. You don't have to rush, you can talk to each other about how to make sex more satisfying, and -- like most things -- sex improves with practice.