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Short of them coming out and admitting it, or you catching them in the physical act of sex, you could employ a private investigator to follow the suspected spouse around until they catch them in a tryst. . . or not.

Added: Speak with your divorce lawyer to find out if it even matters. With the advent of "no fault" divorces, an affair has no bearing on the outcome of divorce settlements in many states, except in the cases of pre-nups.

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