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  • It depends on your individual situation and whether or not there was police involvement and a court ruling/court order (if court proceedings took place).
  • Do not enquire how he is and what he is doing. Do not have coffee, or agree to meet him at a later date. Do not be lured into his world again. Do not give him your personal data - address, phone numbers, etc.
  • In general: Be sure any law enforcement officials mandate. Do NOT contravene the decisions of the system. Work from the inside to change judgments, evaluations, or rulings � but NEVER rebel against them or ignore them. You will only turn the system against you and your interests. But with the exception of the minimum mandated by the courts � decline any and all gratuitous contact with the narcissist. Do not respond to his pleading, romantic, nostalgic, flattering, or threatening e-mail messages. Return all gifts he sends you. Refuse him entry to your premises. Do not even respond to the intercom. Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice while making clear to him, in a single, polite but firm, sentence, that you are determined not to talk to him. Do not answer his letters. Do not visit him on special occasions, or in emergencies. Do not respond to questions, requests, or pleas forwarded to you through third parties. Disconnect from third parties whom you know are spying on you at his behest. Do not discuss him with your children. Do not gossip about him. Do not ask him for anything, even if you are in dire need. When you are forced to meet him, do not discuss your personal affairs � or his. Relegate any inevitable contact with him � when and where possible � to professionals: your lawyer, or your accountant.
  • If you can, leave right away. If he sees you, you can say hi, but that's about all you should do. Don't have a conversation with him. Don't let him have one with you. If you have to lie to him. Tell him you need to get to the doctor, dentist, kids, work, interview, meeting someone, etc. Anything and just say bye and leave. It's OK to be a bit rude to him. Just get away as fast as you can. You don't need to talk to him or make him feel comfortable. There is no real need to be rude, but get away from him.
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14y ago

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