Is there a legal document you and your ex can sign to relieve you of any back payment or current payment and disinvolve the court because you both worked it out?

Answer 1

In most jurisdictions, the parties can execute a stipulation (a written agreement) that modifies the pre-existing obligation. Assuming that there is no suspicion of fraud or undue influence, the court will generally accept and approve it. When approved, the court will generally enter an order so stating, and those will be the terms that govern the relationship thereafter.

All of that said, if the arrearage or future payments is for child support (rather than for spousal support), the court will look far more closely at the arrangement. This is because children are involved and the court will want to ensure that they are not short-changed and have access (through the custodial parent) to adequate finds for their support. In the United States, all states are required to adhere to child support guidelines and a parent cannot easily waive their child's right to be supported by both parents.

You should consult with an attorney who specializes in family law in your jurisdiction.