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One strategy would be to occasionally ask for this specific kind of feedback: Can you give back to me what you understand my position to be? A misunderstanding or misinterpretation is likely to come to light, and then there is a chance to offer clarification. You should occasionally offer what you believe the other party's position is, offering them an opportunity to clarify.

It might even be more effective to ask: Can you give back to me what I said? This distinction could be important, because too often we are tempted to reach for all kinds of connections and associations when reflecting back what we think someone is saying, and we can go very far afield that way. By asking someone to reflect back what you said, you can get more clarity about what is going on in the mind of the listener.

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