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It is detailed, it has good vocabulary words, makes sence. If written on a paper then full stop, commas, semi colons etc should be placed correctly and it will be worth more marks. Paragraphing should be accurate and repeated at all times, depending on how many you are willing to do. If the speech is done face to face then it should be read out loud, with a use of good vocabulary and it should be nice and clear so people comprehend what you are saying.

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