Etiquette for a graveside funeral

Answer 1

Some basic rules for funeral etiquette:

1. Most important is to show up, it shows you care.
2. Be dressed properly, suit, dark colors, this isn't a party.
3. Proper demeanor. Again, this isn't a party. Voice low, don't monopolize the bereaved.

Answer 2

There are just a few things to remember in the way of funeral etiquette. People do not expect etiquette to be followed specifically by the bereaved family members. So if you miss any items, don't stress over it. This is meant to be a general guideline to assist you in what is normally done during a memorial service. If you will be having a guest book present at the visitation and service, place it at the back of the church or the funeral home where people will enter before being seated. The immediate family members usually sit in the first few pews or rows. You can choose to be seated as soon as you arrive or stay in the back to greet other mourners and attendees. If the casket is to be present during the service, the funeral director will coordinate with the pall bearers to carry the casket out of the funeral car. The pall bearers may carry the casket to the front of church before the service begins, or simply lift it onto a cart to be wheeled in to the front of the room where the service will be held. The funeral director plays a vital role directing and coordinating the pall bearers of their duties and where they will take seat during the entire service. The officiant or clergy will announce the opening of the service. You can also choose to have a close family member welcome them and say a few short opening statements. The officiant, clergy or family member will introduce each new event or item in the funeral or memorial program before it begins. If there is is to be a viewing of the body at the end of the service, the funeral director will be responsible to open the lid of the casket (generally, only the top half of the casket will be opened, exposing the deceased upper half of the body). Mourners may now view the body, stopping for a few moments to pay their last respects or simply just walk past the casket. When the service is over, the funeral director will close the casket and will lead the pall bearers in placing the casket back into the funeral car or hearse. The family will then leave their seats, followed by all attendees starting from the front of the church, row by row. You may elect to greet the attendees as they give you condolences after the service. Generally, a line will form with the family members at the front of the room to begin receiving sympathies from the attendees. If there is a police escort to the cemetery for a graveside service, remain in your car and follow the car procession as lead by the police car. If there is a short reception after the service, mourners may attend and give their condolences to you and your family during this time. You can simply acknowledge each person's sympathies by saying "thank you for coming."

Answer 3

Flowers and floral arrangments are an important part of funeral customs in some cultures, and are unwelcome in other cultures. At a typical Catholic wake and later at the funeral, for example, you might expect to see many floral arrangements, each with a card bearing messages of condolence. Among Jewish families, however, flowers of any kind are neither offered nor sent; instead gifts of food and drink are given to the bereaved so that they will have something to offer to those who come to pay their respects. Friends and well-wishers of the family should consult the relevant death notice that appears in the newspaper. Sometimes these will specify at the end, "the family asks that no flowers be sent." In which case, you must respect that wish. Other times, the notice will read, "Flowers may be sent to the XYZ Funeral Home, Fair City." Sending flowers is then easy if the well-wisher has a telephone and a credit card: you call a florist, give the name of the deceased and the name of the funeral home, and say what sort of floral arrangement you wish to send. The florist will ask how much you want to spend, and what you want the card to say. After you give your name and credit card information, the florist will deliver your selection. If it's a local florist, and you call first thing in the morning, the delivery might be that afternoon; if later in the day, perhaps early the next day. These floral tributes are often very comforting and encouraging to bereaved families, reminding them that others are thinking of them and sharing their sorrow at a difficult time. It is a very nice gesture, if one can possibly manage it, especially if the funeral is in a faraway place and a caring well-wisher is unable to attend because of distance (or for any other reason.) If a well-wisher cannot afford to order flowers from a florist, then a small home-made bouquet in a plain vase would surely be welcome, too. Rather than handing your offering to any of the family at the wake, it would be better to approach one of the funeral home staff when you arrive, and ask them if they would place your flowers to best advantage for you.

Answer 4

Don't be pushy. Base your behavior on the reaction of the family. If you had children together, and you are on good terms, be there for them, and for yourself. Otherwise, keep a low profile. The family will choose to include you or not.

Answer 5

No idle chit-chat. Stand with you head slightly bowed, hands together, and follow the lead of any clergy officiating. Some people have family customs regarding throwing flowers on the casket, offering condolences to surviving loved ones etc. Other relatives and close friends should be first to initiate these customs , so just follow their lead.

Additional informationRemember the purpose of the gathering; you are there to honor the deceased. It isn't a place to discuss football scores, gossip about the cousin who didn't show up or to make business arrangements.

Proper respect requires that you not detract from the original purpose of the graveside services. Turn off cell phones and if your children are too young to stand/sit quietly and respectfully, don't bring them.

Since so few people know how to be respectful, it may be a good idea to NOT follow the lead of the family, if you already know how to be quiet and respectful perhaps the best thing for YOU to do would be to show others how it's done.

Answer 6

The funeral service for a deceased member of the military must follow strict rules and guidelines. Some of these guideline are the draping (covering) of the casket with the flag, the folding of the flag performed by an honour guard, saluting of the casket by members of the armed forces and the formal gun salute.

Answer 7

• It depends on what type of funeral you are going too such as an Asian funeral, etc. If this is the case watch what others do and follow what they do. If it's a funeral for family or a friend then you sit and listen to what the Minister or Pastor has to say and he will lead the guests to what will come next. When the death is in the obituary column it may request flowers, but more often it will say, 'in lieu of flowers please donate' (it may be the cancer society or something else.) You can do this by check or Money Order and put on it 'In Memory of John Doe.' The family will be notified as to any donations given. It is fine to send flowers to the home of the bereaved if you so choose.

Answer 8

• It is always sad to attend the funeral of a baby. The etiquette is the same for a baby's funeral as for an adults. The family may wish to go to the grave site alone and if that is the case the Minister/Priest will announce it at the service.

Answer 9

Quiet. Pay attention when someone is speaking . Bow your head when people are praying.

Let the person officiating or the funeral directoe guide you, especially in a strange place.