How do phrase in the welcome home letter?

Does the abbreviation Hon have a dot? How do you address an envelope to husband and wife and use both first names? If someone is talking and you have to cough really bad but don't want to interrupt when is the appropriate time to cough? Is it rude to ask someone if they're married? What is the correct way to address envelope to married couple and the have different last names? What is it called when you ask someone to do something and then they do the opposite? Why do your nostrils have bogies? What is the irony in smileys being bested by a stranger? What does mrs mean in a title for a lady? Why do you call people mean names? How does Odysseus react to the maids behavior? How do you say to a girl you want to see her big breasts in your mouth? What was Mary Read's code of conduct? What does almsman's gown mean? What is special about mornings? Ithu njan ninaq thaunna respect aanu? What is the point of having a baby shower? When do you put a period after Yes or No at the beginning of a sentence? How do you tactfully tell people to pay for their own alcohol in other words we'll cover the food but you pay for your drinks? What is the gujarati meaning of shame yaar?