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Perception checking refers to a process also known as "echoing," where one person repeats back what they understand the other to have meant.

Examples --

Unskillful:

Person says, "I don't care for asparagus."

Partner says, "You don't like my cooking."

Skillful:

"I don't care for asparagus."

"I hear that you don't care for asparagus. Is it asparagus in general, or is it the way I prepared it tonight?"

"No, honey, you did fine, I just don't care for it very much."

In the second example, the listener checked his/her perception to insure that there was no misunderstanding, and allowed the partner to clarify the statement before coming to any conclusion. This sort of practice not only insures that we understand what is said, but also insures that we don't jump the gun and get upset about assumptions that may not be true.

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