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November Fifth, Sixteen-Oh-Five.

Dateline, London

A National Disaster was averted in the wee hours today, just below the House of Lords. One Guy Fawkes (AKA Guido Fawkes) was founde to be guarding THIRTY-SIX, yes, this reporter said THIRTY-SIX! barrels of highly explosive gunpowder, readied to destroye entirely our beloved King and all of his Parliamente, during his daughter Elizabeth's installment as head-of-state later in the daye.

He is currently being helde in the Tower of London, where he is being firste tortured, then interrogated. After his guards get a short, but well-deserved break, they will interrogate him and torture him until ALL the facts of this despicable crime come to lighte.

Reade more in tomorrow's column.

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